FORCED to move

NUMber2

Well, the SL facility has finally decided my mom needs to go. They gave some lame reasons, half truths and some whole truth excuses. I'm actually relieved to be leaving the place. They just don't have the staff to support someone like her... frankly, like quite a few people who live there. My mom's problem is, she's a complainer. No one likes a complainer.

They fabricate the truth to make it sound like they've done all that they can for her. I know they lie because, I have a camera in her living room. I dont feel like fighting them. They don't want her there, why would I want her there!

Anyone else experience this?

M1

Sorry you are so frustrated. But it seems to have been clear for a while that she was not getting the right level of care. However it's very hard to have to make these changes under pressure in a crisis.

It's never easy to have to make a change just when you thought you had things settled and under control. I had to find a MC facility under time pressure when my first choice facility would not accept my partner out of a hospitalization (she is in fact now there, having moved in April of 2023). There were three or four I looked at, all of which had similar sales pitches. The one I went with was friendly, but ended up being too small for my claustrophobic partner, and staff did not communicate well. We stuck it out for a year, but nine months in I asked my first choice place to reevaluate her and they then accepted her.

Hope you can find an acceptable place quickly. If you search, there have been a number of threads in the past about things to look for in a MC facility.

Emily 123

NUMBer2,

Your mother's at a real risk for wandering, having had an episode where she didn't recognize where she was. That requires more monitoring that most supported livings can usually provide, and they'd be on the hook legally if she wandered and came to harm. She wasn't at a safe level of care there.

Anonymousjpl123

@NUMber2 the good news is the decision is now made. I would check out as many MC places as possible. I actually wished I had checked out more: I was so set on assisted living I didn’t think about MC until it was necessary. I wish I had, though I only looked at places with both AL and MC.

I hope you can find somewhere decent and in your price range. I won’t be able to afford a place like my mom’s, so I have already started looking into places I might move if necessary because I am nuts and now think I might get this and want to be prepared. It’s work, but you can find decent places at all price points.

I hope you find the right place. Having my mom situated has made a world of difference.

CaliforniaGirl-1

We looked a lot and we called the local Alzheimers association and got recommendations for Senior Placement Advocates in our area. There are 2 different things: Senior Placement Advocates who don't cost you anything. They get paid if you decide on one of the places they recommend and Senior Care Managers, they do cost money.

If you get 2 or 3 placement advocates from you local Alzheimers and look them up on Yelp and talk to them. They can be a very helpful resource when you need to find a place in a hurry. Every place is not a fit for everyone. A good one will know which places might have space and which ones have had a lot of turnover of staff and will have contacts and be able to help you get a good deal if there is any deal to be had.

It is a helpful resource and they have seen so many people and MC and ALs that they are a good source of advice on lots of related matters. A good one can be a real source of help if you need a fast placement.

Some people use on line services like "A Place For Mom.". We found a local person with lots of relationships to be really helpful as what we needed for my LO changed during the process.