Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

A New Stage Emerging

I've been feeling it coming on for a few weeks now, thinking I'm seeing changes that portend a step forward in the progression. I wasn't wrong.

My DWs first instance of incontinence. She went right to bowel incontinence. Only happened once so far and according to Tam Cummings, it looks like it'll be monthly, then weekly, then daily. Dang.

We don't even have a diagnosis yet. Isn't that just something? She may be even further along than I allowed myself to believe. That's likely because she is still so pleasant and loving, is present quite a lot and engaging. Certainly her memory and confusion is much increased, but I thought that would go further before we got to the incontinence.

I am so sad.

Comments

  • Hope5757
    Hope5757 Member Posts: 150
    100 Comments 25 Likes 25 Care Reactions 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    @CindyBum

    My MIL was diagnosed at the middle stage a year ago. I think that roughly correlates to stage 4 on the Tam Cummings chart but I’m not totally sure. The characteristics pretty much fit.

    In one year, she’s progressed to stage 5 and at her age (91), I think she’ll be at stage 6 within the next year.

    About six months ago, she had one incident of urinary incontinence. This wasn’t bed wetting but a literal pool of urine in a chair. I don’t know exactly what happened as she wouldn’t discuss it. I too thought this would be the start of routine incontinence and purchased a number of products. But, that has been her only incident.

    Maybe, like us - this is as an isolated incident

  • CindyBum
    CindyBum Member Posts: 272
    250 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    I sure hope so! Thank you for the hope, Hope. :-)

  • Jeanne C.
    Jeanne C. Member Posts: 835
    500 Care Reactions 500 Comments 250 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    I'm sorry CindyBum. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. My husband went from one accident (bowel) in October, to once in a while, to daily urinary/occasional bowel now. Prep the bed (good mattress protectors, chucks where she sleeps, etc.).

  • Ed1937
    Ed1937 Member Posts: 5,090
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Likes 250 Care Reactions
    Member

    Cindy, I'm sorry. Hopefully this doesn't turn into more than an accident.

  • ghphotog
    ghphotog Member Posts: 679
    500 Care Reactions 500 Comments 100 Likes Second Anniversary
    Member
    edited February 25

    This is such a sad disease. Nobody will ever know just how freaking sad this disease is. . . . . exept us.

    My DW had occasional incedents with FI, thought it was over and about two years later, it was overnight. She immediatly had to start wearing "Depends" but fought it tooth and nail, figuratively speaking, but she did it, she would cry everytime I put them on.

    I've cleaned her up plenty of times and you know what? . . . . . that didn't change one iota how I felt about her, it only increased my empathy and compassion for her but sooner than later I had to place her in MC.

    It's a sad heartbreaking disease.

  • LaneyG
    LaneyG Member Posts: 164
    100 Comments 100 Care Reactions 25 Likes 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    My DH was hospitalized for a med evaluation/change. Prior to med changes, he was having accidents. I think he was sleeping so deeply and just wasn’t waking up on time and when he did wake he was unsteady. I slept with an eye open and when I noticed his rustling around made a mad dash to try to get him there on time. There have been no more accidents since the med changes. Maybe Just an explanation to rule out.

  • SSHarkey
    SSHarkey Member Posts: 298
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments
    Member

    Gh, you’re so right. This is a mean, stinking disease. Every new symptom brings to me the reality of it. It’s like a stab in the heart.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more