Needing to Take a Break from Support Group

Sunnyside42

For three years I have attended a weekly in person support group that has been educational and supportive. My 86 year old DH is probably mid stage—memory is the biggest issue. There hasn’t been incontinence yet nor wandering and he is basically a sweet agreeable person (mostly because I learned from the support group how to react to and deal with his Alzheimer behavior). He continues to be physically okay; we walk a lot and he gardens (with direction), so I feel very fortunate so far. I am considering take a few months off from the support group. I feel that I don’t come to it with new issues to be solved and sometimes sit there for two hours, participating in discussions but feeling afterwards that I am not gaining new knowledge. Our group has felt very connected and compassionate with and for each other at times, but yet I have not developed any special relationships outside the group. By writing this, I don’t know what input I am asking; only that I am questioning whether I should take a hiatus from the group.

Ed1937

Sunnyside, I think there are times when a break like that is healing for us. It wasn't too long ago that I took a break from this forum, after visiting it while missing very few days in 5 1/2 years or so. I think it was helpful for me. You can always go back at any time.

Sunnyside42

Thank you. I needed that affirmation. It just feels right — I forgot to mention that the morning of my meeting is the same time my DH is away at a program. I can use this time for personal self care. That is my justification.

tigersmom

Sunnyside, I totally support your taking a break. I think the key was in your second post. I get about four hours a day, two times a week, to myself when my DH is in daycare. While many of those hours are filled by things I need to do -- taxes, cleaning the house, my own doctor's and dentist's appointments, I would be loathe to spend them on anything Alzheimer's related. Sometimes we just need a real break from thinking about it, if only for a few hours. At least, that's how it is for me. I hope you enjoy however you choose to spend this precious time.

ImMaggieMae

Sunnyside, weekly in person for 3 years sounds like a lot of meetings. There are only so many solutions or suggestions for dealing with Alzheimer’s. Taking a break if you’re no longer gaining anything sounds reasonable to me, especially because there are other things you could be doing with this free time. Or is it possible to attend once every other month or something like that? You probably have lots of useful information that could help newer people. And as things change you may need more unique solutions.

Sunnyside42

Thank you. Yes, having those few hours to myself is the biggest reason I want to take this time off. I can return later when our issues change. I learned so much from this group and am grateful. It has made our journey so far a lot easier than it might have been without being educated about Alzheimer’s and learning coping skills.

SSHarkey

I agree with everyone. Take the break! The more self care you can get, the better.

Sunnyside42

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/199639#Comment_199639

Thank you. I guess I needed affirmation from others who “get it”.

Bill_2001

Hi Sunnyside42,

By all means, take a break. We don't want to always immerse ourselves in the subject of caregiving and Alzheimer's.

That said, do not lose touch with the group. As we all know here, issues can arise rapidly and you will want to maintain a continuing relationship with your group members. Perhaps place a calendar reminder in 2 or 3 months to make an appearance.

With Love, Bill_2001

Sunnyside42

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/199807#Comment_199807

Good idea. I can also keep in touch with some of them individually. I do plan to return; it’s just right now I need the me time more.