DW rejecting outside caregiver

midge333

My wife has mixed dementia (vascular and alzheimers) secondary to juvenile diabetes. She is stage 5 and has had a recent significant decline. We have had an outside caregiver for about 2 years. The caregiver stays with my wife for 4 hours once or twice a week. Over the last month or two, my wife has become convinced that the caregiver damaged our kitchen table. Personally, I cannot see the damage so I do not think it is real. My wife is perseverating on the damaged table and wants me to fire the caregiver. She has even said if I don't fire the caregiver, she wants me to put her in a SNF. Two weeks ago she had her antidepressant changed to citalopram. Two days ago seroquel was started because of anger and agitation. I really don't want to let the caregiver go. She has done a decent job and I am fearful that my wife will find fault in anyone I hire. Should I fire the caregiver or should I stick it out and see if it all blows over? I am hoping the seroquel helps.

charley0419

What if you say you damaged the table ?

is it wood can you refinish. Or just wait it out. When my wife found out no driving it was nitemare now doesn’t mention

M1

Midge I think you are right to stick it out. Seroquel can really help, so let's hope it kicks in quickly, and if you don't see response you can increase the dose fairly quickly too (i.e., every 3-4 days if she's really out of control). Charley's idea about shifting the blame to you might help. I'm thinking out loud here--but could you put a tablecloth on the table perhaps? Or turn it 180 degrees without her knowing it, so that whatever "damage" see's seeing disappears? These things that they become fixated on are so difficult. Wish I had some other magic answer.