when DH imagines things

Nan in Arizona

Any experience with the proper response when my DH says "there is someone else in the house". (There is no one else here, and it is very rare that someone would be here.) If I answer with truth, "no one else is here - just you, me, and the dogs", am I making him feel dumb in that moment? OR should I say something like "they are leaving soon", or "they just left" to make him feel correct ... but it's not the truth and he might worry about an intrusion?

This is the new stuff going on with DH, and I haven't figured out the best way to respond. Thank you for input.

jsps139_

Is he seeing them or just hearing something?

My DH does see people and animals inside our place. He tells me about them and I usually say … I sometimes see shadows too that look like people but it’s just shadows from the sun coming in the window. Then I start talking about our plans for later today or tomorrow, and he forgets about it. The first time it happened, he told me to get off the couch and see what those people in the kitchen wanted. I must have looked confused and he said … you don’t see all those people standing right there in the kitchen. I didn’t know what to say, so I said … I can’t say that I do. He rolled his eyes like he thought I was an idiot. It caught me off guard the first time. 😳

Cecil Jones

I haven't had it in the house yet. She'll see someone or something out side and she can't tell me who or what it is. I think sometimes she may see a bird or a dog and before she can get out the right word she may say they were walking or they went that way. I just go with the flow and usually guessing a few times and say, I guess they're gone now. It's like she can see a white car or truck drive up...she can't tell me if it's a truck or car let alone the color. I go with that one too...must have been the neighbor.

Caro_Lynne

My LO sees people inside and outside our house constantly. When he asks me who they are I usually go along and as him where. He's show me and I tell him, oh they just left. He also talks to inanimate objects; yesterday he was having a conversation with my stationary bike and he particularly likes speaking with the people on the TV. I do not interrupt him and let him finish his conversation. I feel so sad when I see him do this but unless I see he's distressed, I just let him be. He eventually moves on. This morning I woke up to two rolls of papers towels strewn all over the kitchen, torn into little pieces. I often wonder what is going on in his damaged brain - breaks my heart. From my room I cannot hear him get up unless he comes to my room. I have cameras that cover most of the house and since I installed door alarms and latches on every door with outside access, I can get some sleep!

Nan in Arizona

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/199804#Comment_199804

thank you, i like your ideas ... acknowledging and then reassuring it's gone now. And going into that room 'to check' would be good sometimes too. And also changing the subject - which works well at other times so i bet that will work in this situation too.

To answer your Q, it's usually hearing things, in another room. Only once did he ask where the person went who was just sitting in that chair a minute ago. i understand about being caught off guard the first time a new situation arises. And then you figure it out.

thank you again.

Nan in Arizona

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/199805#Comment_199805

Thank you. And its a great point about being unable to find the right words. Thanks for the reminder about the easy-going answer, "must have been the neighbors". i really could start using that more.

Nan in Arizona

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/199809#Comment_199809

it sure is heartbreaking. And so unpredictable about what you will see next. Glad you have the cameras etc so you can rest and also solve something afterwards if you need to. Great suggestion about sensing if he has distress, i'd say sometimes there is distress because he spent time in law enforcement so he's always "doing security rounds" in his mind. But he does move on to something else easily too so that helps. Thank you for helping me.

upstateAnn

This happens with my DH frequently. I tell him no. He must have seen a shadow. That is the end of it.

Jeanne C.

I follow the same plan as Caro Lynne - I just let him believe it if there's no distress. He sometimes gets upset about "those kids in the basement" so then I tell him "there's no one here but us chickens" which makes him laugh and move on.

Dunno

I usually agree in an uncertain tone that I see whatever it is she seeing but need to get the flashlight so I can see better and she has yet to stay focus long enough to find the flash light..... my canned answer :)