My sister has dementia and is an alcoholic

stoiks

My sister is approaching stage 6 dementia. She lives by herself. She is losing weight . She's not taking her meds every day unless I give them to her. I live 40 minutes away. She will not leave her home. She needs to be in assisted living. What can I do? I need legal advice. Can anyone help me?

SSHarkey

You need to see a lawyer. If she is this far along in her disease, she is no longer able to make decisions. In Texas, this would require a court order to get guardianship. Get legal advice!

M1

you need a certified elder law attorney (CELA) to help you get power of attorney or guardianship for her. Look at nelf.org for lists by location. These folks can also help you assess her finances to figure out how to pay for long-term care. No way she is safe living by herself if she's truly stage 6. So sorry, but welcome to the forum--you have come to a good place for advice and support.

harshedbuzz

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

You are correct, you do need legal advice. If you are willing to step up to be your sister's legal advocate, it's likely you may need to explore emergency and the permanent guardianship or conservancy unless you already have a dPOA that allows you to step in and take steps to keep her safe.

Does she have the money and assets to pay for her own care going forward? If not, the CELA can help you qualify her for a Medicaid bed.

In your shoes, I would take care of the legal piece asap and then move her into a secure MCF that is convenient to you before dealing with her current home. I would not signal your plan or try to talk her into it. She is well beyond participating in such a decision. Packing and such is very distressing for a PWD, so it's best to move her into the MCF under a therapeutic lie about a broken sewer line or termite infestation or even lunch out at this lovely senior hotel.

You didn't ask, but. Has she been thoroughly evaluated by a neurologist who is aware of her alcohol use disorder? Is she still drinking? Will she need to be safely detoxed before moving into a facility?

My dad had mixed dementia-- Alzheimer's and Wernicke-Korsakoff's. The latter is treatable and when dad was finally diagnosed and treated for the Thiamine deficiency that causes this he rebounded considerably. He still had Alzheimer's but that was still early moderate stage at the time. My dad's nephew likely had this and lived for over a decade in a supported setting managing his own ADLs with the son managing everything else.

Good luck going forward. Dementia and Alcohol Use Disorder is an unholy marriage.

HB

jahzkan

I'm sorry to hear about your sister's situation; it must be incredibly tough for you. Dealing with dementia and alcoholism at the same time is a heavy burden, not just for her but for everyone around her. I've heard from others that seeking support from places like the abbeycarefoundation.com can help navigate these challenges. They provide advice and resources that can clarify things when you’re feeling overwhelmed. It might also help to connect with others in similar situations to discuss things and share experiences. You don't have to go through it alone. You might also want to consider exploring local care options for dementia, as there are services that specialize in both addiction and cognitive issues.