Declutter- how much is to much

ClarkEb

As things progress, my daughters and I have been slowly declutterring. There is a large amount of clothing that is no longer worn or worn out. We go through and slowly remove the excess and worn items. My wife is down to a few pair of pants and tops/sweaters she wears all the time. We have several identical pairs of pants, etc that she likes. We are trying to avoid the closet looking to empty and have placed other clothing on the far left and right sides so it will look “Lived In”.

We have done the same in other parts of the house — extra bed rooms with full closets, things that have not seen the light of day for a while. (The local thrift store has asked us to hold of for a while)

Any thoughts on how to do this with out having the house look empty.

harshedbuzz

This may be an unpopular opinion, but one way to manage this is to keep her out of unused spaces by locking the rooms to keep her from going in them and getting upset.

Ed1937

I don't think that will be unpopular, HB. Seems like a good option to me.

ghphotog

I started decluttering a few years ago getting rid of tons of glasses, tupperware, bowls, nick nacks, clothes shoes. We had about 5 plants in the house that she would keep up with but as I had to take that over I wasn't as diligent as she was and after a year or so of sweeping up dead leaves all over the place I got rid of those as well. She never really noticed.

jfkoc

That is too much. You will have plenty of time to cleanse those closets and cupboards.

midge333

Personally, I would not worry about the house looking empty. Look up Swedish Death Cleaning.

ButterflyWings

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/200450#Comment_200450

I like this video that shows it is much less morbid than the name sounds. This young lady suggests it is a useful, positive, even interesting (enjoyable?) process for people to do at any age. I am a keeper. Falls somewhere between collector and hoarder, I think! I don't want to become either, really - and dementia showed up and taught me the real downfall from accumulating.

So... I appreciate having a process to go by in downsizing and also sorting through the wacky things DH has held onto, piled up together, rummaged and re-located, etc. Because it is overwhelming to even try to do this kind of purging by myself while managing a PWD LO also with no help. So a system will be really helpful. I plan on closing the door after clearing one room at a time, to the most minimalist set-up possible.

It will be a load off my mind as the visual clutter distracts us both actually. And to know that it is "a gift to the next generation" so they don't have to deal with our "stuff"...(and/or THEIR stuff that they left behind for we parents to store for free lol). That will feel very satisfying at a time when there is not always a lot I can do to feel I've accomplished something that's "done".... since my days are very busy with important work but it is just the endless treadmill of late-stage dementia caregiving as the primary in-home hospice go-to person.

Thanks for this idea to "just do it". And why not start now.

https://youtu.be/8vmjd3SfTeo?feature=shared

SSHarkey

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/200505#Comment_200505

A gift to the next generation. Perfectly said! I can hear my daughters saying, “Why in the world was she saving THAT?” After clearing out three relatives’ houses already and another before me, I am determined to get mine in order, for the sake of my next generation!

Belle

+1 for Swedish Death Cleaning. I have been purging the house of 'stuff' for the last few years. It's something I can control in my life when everything else seems to be spiraling out of control.

Quilting brings calm

As someone who really needs to declutter - It depends on what you’ve gotten rid of

Items you don’t use and your kids don’t want? Declutter away

or items that you will need to replace in six months? Stop that

or family mementos that you threw away even though the kids got mad because they wanted them? Stop that

White Crane

My DH entered MC a little over a month ago and I have been taking a really good look at all the "stuff" we have collected and saved over the years. Some of it is lovely and pleasing to look at. A lot of it is paper...old insurance papers, brochures, letters, newspapers, etc. There are a lot of books, too. I haven't even begun to tackle what is in the closets. My oldest son was here recently and together we started going through things with the idea of de-cluttering. He has a good system. His motto is, "like with like." He put all the electronics together along with their respective cords and instruction books. He put stacks of old cards in a pile and stacks of other loose papers in a pile. I could then sort through and toss anything we didn't need to keep. The electronics could be looked at and determined whether they were something I would use or needed to donate. He was very systematic and at the end I could see daylight where before all I saw was the clutter of years of accumulation on my DH part. And it felt good! Next time he comes, we are going to tackle the bookshelves and DH desk drawers. My advice would be to have someone with you when you do this as some things are very sentimental and may bring back memories that can be shared. Some items might be of importance and you may need to give information on what they are and how to store them. It feels so good to look around and see that you have accomplished something.

Brenda

midge333

We purged shortly after my wife was diagnosed with dementia. We downsized our home several years later. The move was much easier because we had gotten rid of so much junk. It was liberating for both of us. An uncluttered evironment is better for the PWD and easier on the caregiver.

harshedbuzz

@ButterflyWings

What a nice thing to do for your kids.

My mom purged after the experience of us shifting through auntie's compound in Maine-- house, workshop, 4 bay garage, 2 cottages, a shed and a boathouse. Auntie tended to hold onto things. When she packed her home here in PA I helped her several times. I once suggested she could sell or donate some of the things we were packing and she about bit my head off-- she might need them someday if the ones she had in Maine broke or went missing.

While I was working through the smaller cottage, I found the boxes I had packed (my handwriting outside listing the contents) in 1979 unopened. My mom went through them and decided she wanted some of the things inside. So, I boxed them up again and drove them into town to the UPS Store and shipped them to her at her Florida address. Fast forward 5 years and I am loading a PODS ahead of the sale of her house in FL to ship north to PA where mom lives now and there were the boxes. Again unopened. There was one box of crocks and earthenware jugs that I put my name on. They're at my house now-- a mere 3 miles from where I packed them up 45 years ago. Their travelin' days are over.

HB

@Ed1937

There's a thread on the caregiver's board discussing closing off rooms. Not everyone shares our opinion.

Lgb35

I have been working on purging things too. DH has helped some but it helps me tremendously as he doesn’t ask me “what’s this”? “What should I do with it”? The answer I want to say is nothing, put it down but, of course I don’t.