Startling Behaviour

LindaLouise

So - my DH (probably at Stage 4 or 5- hard to tell for sure) is in the car with me after we picked up our 10 year old granddaughter from school. There was a lot more traffic than usual, and suddenly he started trying to get out of the car because he had a job to do to save a bus. I talked him down until we dropped off our granddaughter, then he railed on about how I was taking over his job, doing the wrong thing and he had a job to do - when we got home he said he had to leave to go home - I told him he had responsibilities for our facility (home) and couldn't leave, and after about 15 minutes he calmed down and seemed back to "normal". Anyone else experienced something like that? Not quite sure what to call it, but I had my phone with me in case it got more intense.

AnderK

Yes, I have found Tim getting ready to go to work in the morning, or worse, the night before. I just try to tell him the schedule changed and he is off duty. Sometimes it works.

Jeanne C.

Yes. My husband used to have delusions where he felt a catastrophe was going to happen if he didn't do something (often involving saving children). It was a huge relief when that phase ended (with medication). Be sure to share this with his doctor, especially if it persists. A med change may be needed.

M1

Scary that it was in the car and with your granddaughter. Maybe those trips need to be rethought? Though i can imagine that throwing monkey wrenches in everyone's schedules. Maybe child locks on all the doors is a possibility, if he must accompany you?

LindaLouise

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/200375#Comment_200375

Yes - scary with my granddaughter in the car, but I do have child locks on all the doors and windows, so he couldn't really get out. We were on very slow, suburban roads, so didn't feel too unsafe. But that's not good enough when kids are involved, so will be watching closely to see if it happens again...

Denise1847

Perhaps it is a UTI. That can cause strange behavior.

harshedbuzz

@LindaLouise

Most cars only have child-locks in the back seat. If your car automatically locks doors when the car is in gear, they can be over-ridden by a passenger in the front seat in most cars.

He'd need to ride in the back which probably wouldn't go over well.

Are you a custodial grandparent? If not, I'd give the parents a heads-up about what transpired as this likely upset your granddaughter and they may want to make other arrangements.

If this is a bolt from the blue, a UTI is a strong possibility. If it's a new phase that is upsetting you both, medication would likely help a great deal.

HB

ButterflyWings

It is good that he did not try to grab the steering wheel. Other members have had that happen as well as having a LO try to exit the car on a highway, at speed. The door was opened and the driver barely got to pull over safely. (This was during a UTI I believe) .

Yes, DH tried to exit the moving car suddenly, and I had to drive slowly with my left hand while reaching across him to hold the door as he kept trying to open it. We were 2 blocks from home but he was insisting I was taking him the wrong way. This was early days, I did not know to expect it, and it was a lesson in what "sundowning" can look like.

As I've reported here many times, my LO was a wanderer, exit seeker, eloper spirit from the get-go. That spirit has only been dampened by major vigilance on my part, massive redirection and fiblets, Seroquel, and time. At 7E he just can't pull it off any more, but still when we are in the car (rarely) he is only a back seat passenger where my child locks work and he could not reach the wheel even if/when he unlocks his seat belt. Also, his favorite oldies station keeps him in a different zone whenever we have driven in the past year or so. It is a true happy place for him (after years of refusing to exit the house or even set foot in the car!) - now, we could drive until the gas ran out and he'd be so happy, humming, tapping a toe, and looking out the window.

Thinking of your grandchild, I wonder if he would read a book with her while riding in the backseat next time (distraction, redirection, if it is a short drive). That would be safer and more pleasant for all if so. On a different note, for you or her parents to share with her...there are some very good children's books to help young ones and adolescents understand what is happening to their grandparents causing these scary behavior changes.

ButterflyWings

Also, delusions may be caused by a UTI as stated, or just dementia progression. It is worth monitoring or limiting his media consumption. Action films on TV, a runaway train or bus rescue, superhero scenarios can cross over in to real life for our PWD LOs. Avoiding exposure to such triggers in the first place can be a real sanity saver (yours as well as not confusing his deteriorating brain).

LindaLouise

Thanks for all your very responses! So very helpful to have all of your experience help me process this latest development. So blessed to have all of you with me on this journey!

jfkoc

Your husband needs to not be in the car. Sure, you can keep him from getting out but you can not stop him from grabbing the steering wheel. Further you cannot drive safely while trying to settle him.

gampiano

Yup... I agree. When my husband grabbed the steering wheel the first time I thought it was an anomily.

Well, I was wrong about that, it was the beginning of a series if dangerous behaviors while we were in the car, and within a week, i stopped taking him for rides, even short ones.