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justjoining8

My mom (58) was recently diagnosed towards the end of 2023. We have been noticing memory things here and there for a while but she always was in denial and refused to get checked out. Last summer, my siblings and I realized her bills had stopped being paid. Then she got fired from her job unexpectedly for forgetting things. She has been changing fast and it’s scary. She stopped showering unless reminded and asked several times. She doesn’t take care of herself anymore and only wants to watch TV. I don’t live there and I’m about 40 minutes away. I try to visit when I can but I feel helpless sometimes and wish I could do more. It makes me really sad to think she doesn’t do much all day unless motivated/reminded ):

M1

Welcome to the forum. Does one of you hold power of attorney for her for finances and healthcare? Very necessary, as you may have to make changes in her living situation against her will. She sounds like she may be rapidly approaching the point of not being able to live alone. She should qualify for disability easily because of the diagnosis, and she will be eligible for Medicare a year after the disability is approved. You may also need to qualify her for Medicaid to finance long-term care. A certified elder law attorney can help with all of these if not already done, look at nelf.org.

You have come to a good place for advice and support. Hope it helps.

Btw, read about anosognosia: she's not in denial, she really thinks she's fine and is incapable of understanding the deficits.

eaglemom

Yes, welcome to the message board. I will echo everything that M1 has said. Right now it is critical to make certain all of your mom's paperwork is in order. I would seriously doubt your mom would be able to make the phone calls and fill out the necessary paperwork for disability - but you certainly can do that with her. It's a process and several of us have helped our significant other's through it - me included. We'll help you where we can.

Is there an ALZ Chapter where your mom is located? She needs activities to keep her busy and engaged. What about her friends? Does anyone take her to lunch occasionally? For a walk around the block?

Ask your questions and we want to help you on this journey that no one wants to be on.

eagle

H1235

It sounds like maybe it’s time to really start thinking about if it is safe for her to be living alone. Is she remembering medication? Is she eating enough? Is she driving? When my mom was diagnosed the doctor advised us that she not live alone. Could you maybe email the doctor explain the changes and get his recommendation. It’s a lot to take in and can sometimes take a bit to really process the situation, especially with her age. Safety is the priority. I also agree with M1, legal and financial matters need to be addressed soon if they haven’t already.