Things Changed Again..am broken.

Dogsaremylife

My last post was a positive one in that my DH (Stage 6.5) turned out to be in a better position, health-wise, than was claimed by an on-call Hospice nurse. My DH's regular nurse came the next day and said my DH was not on the verge of dying, based on all his vitals, etc. Over the last week my husband stopped eating and would only take an Ensure. He returned to being agitated at night, but now he was unable to walk or even sit up. Last night I washed him as best I could because he would not sit up or roll over and everything seemed OK. This morning I pulled back his blanket and his left foot was deep purple. The nurse got here quickly and we ended up sending my DH to the hospital in an ambulance. He screamed whenever anyone touched his foot. As I was leaving to go to the hospital a surgeon called me. He said they would have to amputate my husband's foot due to a blood clot. My DH is 78 and preparing to go to God. I told the surgeon NO, and he agreed. They have him on blood thinners and heavy pain meds and he is so drugged he is totally out of it. I left before dark because we are in a very high crime city and I am so afraid. I had to go home to take care of our dog. I am sitting by the phone here, praying that he makes it through the night. I cannot see at night to drive and we are under a thunderstorm all night, so I will try to get a taxi to the hospital if they call. The hospital staff have been fantastic and have arranged for me to bring our tiny dog tomorrow to visit my DH. I have no one else. All friends faded away over the last 6 years from when my DH was diagnosed, and his daughter has turned out to be a monster. When I emailed her about his being in Hospice care and nearing the end, she sent back an email trashing him for not being there for her when she was young. He was fighting in Vietnam for 7 years as a Marine, as a young widower, so had to keep his job to support her. But the amazing thing is that I feel that God stepped in to let my husband leave this suffering quickly. I pray he makes it until tomorrow. I am sorry this is so long. Everything in me is screaming in pain. Sorry.

Beachfan

I am so sorry. I am heading off to bed and I will pray for both of you. I am so very truly sorry.

trottingalong

I am so sorry you are going through this alone. It has to be overwhelming. It’s nice to know your husband is getting good care at the hospital. It’s also nice they are allowing you to take your small dog with you. I hope you are able to get some sleep tonight and you can visit your husband in the morning.

Jazzma

I am sending you every loving and comforting vibe that I can -- being alone dealing with your husband's disease is horrible. I'm thankful that you find comfort that God is helping your husband, and that He will comfort you also. One thing I found after placing my husband in MC, when I was so sad I thought I couldn't survive, is that there were a lot of people around me that wanted to help, including new neighbors and even the mail-lady. Please don't be afraid to show your pain and to accept help. This is too painful to manage alone. Big hugs and comfort to you.

AnderK

May the evening go quickly so you can be with your DH in the morning. My thoughts are with you.

Kathy

Jgirl57

i will be thinking about you and your DH as this awful disease and complications progresses. Much love to you and your DH

Quilting brings calm

I’m so sorry that you and he are having to endure this phase. It was so hard seeing my step-dad go downhill very similarly. He was on hospice 13 days. FYI- some people wait until their loved ones leave the room to pass, and others go peacefully in their sleep. We can’t predict how pr when it will happen, so don’t beat yourself up if it happens while you are gone.

Mint

(((I am so very sorry)))

Nowhere

Praying for your husband that he may be kept comfortable thru his transition. Praying for you to possess the strength and courage to discover peace through this turmoil.

JeriLynn66

Prayers for you and your husband,,,

SSHarkey

Oh I’m so sorry! We are all here for you in spirit. I’m thankful that you are feeling he is safe in the hands of the hospital staff. That’s so important. Know you have done everything you can. The rest is in God’s hands.

Marla13

Prayers and hugs. You are not alone. We are all with you.

mrahope

So, so sorry to hear this sad news of your DH's precipitous decline. May you both find some comfort and peace.

Buggytoo

Praying for peace and comfort for you and your husband.

ImMaggieMae

Praying for you and your husband. I am so sorry everything took a turn for the worse. It is in God’s hands now. You aren’t alone. We are here.

M1

Hopefully they can keep him comfortable until he passes. I think it was the right thing to decline the surgery. Will be thinking of you.

White Crane

My prayers are with you and your dear husband.

CindyBum

I am holding you and your DH in warm light and pray for the easing of both of your pain.

midge333

You made great choices out of love for your husband. I hope he dies quickly and comfortably.

WIGO23

Please accept my cyberhug. Though we are strangers, we are both living in the same world of a very cruel disease. I wish for you strength to endure this heartache and a peaceful end to the suffering for both of you.

jfkoc

hugs and a shoulder from me too. Please keep in touch.......

LJCHR

So sorry for what you and your husband are going through. Prayers to both of you - and may you both find peace and strength.