Adult Day Programs

LindaLouise

This is a related to the discussion about MC vs home care, but thought I'd start a new thread. I'm considering a day program once or twice a week for my husband so I have a chance to go to the dentist/doctor and complete some tasks around the house/yard. We will visit a program this week and am now really worried about how he will respond to the idea, so am looking for advice. Do you just visit and then set it up, as discussing things doesn't really make sense at this point? (I think my DH is around stage 4-5, but coherent conversations don't really happen). Would love to know how this has worked/not worked for some of you. Thanks so much...

Whyzit2

My DH attends a day program 2 days a week. He enjoys it very much and thinks he is going to work there as a volunteer. I am going to add 2 more days soon because as he progresses I find that I too am declining physically and emotionally. We have been on this slow journey since 2010 and are both 83.

I would suggest visiting and if it looks like a good choice then compliment your DH for offering to volunteer there. Allow him to think it is his idea and he may be more receptive. It worked for me. Best wishes!

Babz0226

My DH is in a day program 2 days a week, I was worried he would not go and he was a little tough the first month but he is fine now,best thing I did. I see my friends those 2 days for coffee, go to the beauty salon, any appts or grocery shopping I can do with 8 hours a week. I might add another day in the fall, we walk a lot in the summer and my grandkids are around so I think I will stay for the 2 days and rethink it for fall. I was nervous but give it a try please.

ghphotog

My DW was also in a daycare program and even though she was resistant when would arrive she always had a good time and the staff were excellent.

Ed1937

Some people stay with their LO for a while, or even the whole time they are there the first day to let them kind of get to know a little about what to expect. Whatever you think will work. The daycare might have other ideas for you, so don't be afraid to ask.

marier

My DH was in a day program 4 days a week for about 6 mos. I felt he benefited from the program. However as his disease has progressed he no longer attends. He became too combative and was unable to follow simple commands without physical assistance. Thus he was discharged from the program and I have not been able to find a program that will accept him.

mrahope

Sadly, I tried to put my DH into a really good adult day program in our former location but it didn't work. We took him to visit the program and meet the director and he seemed very receptive. Then when it was time to go on the first day of the following week he utterly refused and said he wasn't going to be "one of those patients". Maybe this was because he had been a clinical psychologist earlier in life. He also refused to engage with two caregivers I brought into the house and finally even complained when my DS would come over to give me a break. This is how I came to consider MC.

l7pla1w2

We tried one day program that was set up like a classroom lecture, with someone in front and the participants arrayed in long tables to face the front. DW did not like that setup, because she had trouble with some of the activities, and that made her feel stupid.

We started a different day program recently that is set up more like a seminar, with a small number of people seated around a table. The leaders can more easily tailor the activities to the people who are there. DW likes this better.

Cecil Jones

I got my wife to go 2 sometimes 3 days a week for 2 months. It was really great while it lasted. Like some of the others, my wife thought she was volunteering. The first day I took her, we met the director and told him she was wanting to help/volunteer. He jumped right in and said they could always use some helpers. I wished it had lasted longer. The day care wasn't at fault...the disease just changed her "again" and she didn't want to go back.

tigersmom

Adult day services have been a godsend for us. DH has been going for over a year. It was a little bumpy at the start, and he is still anxious when I drop him off, but once he's there he usually gets busy and has a good time. I really value the respite it gives me, but more than that, the socialization is really good for him. He started at one day a week; now he goes two, and I am considering adding a third. Honestly, it is a much better day when he goes. He comes home tired, and I am better able to deal with the endless questions when I have had a few hours off. Others on this forum have spoken of using it to stave off placement in memory care, and I can see why. That's one of the reasons I am considering adding a third day. When you start, they will want to meet him with you. When we go, I don't announce where we're going; I just take him inside, say a cheerful hello to everyone and get him started. We started him on a low-dose antidepressant (citalopram) a month or so in, and it has helped with his separation anxiety. Since he won't eat their food, I pack him a lunch. I really encourage you to try it. I would be at my wits' end without it.