memory care to nursing home

LisaLH

Advice please: I have my dad in a memory care facility that is about 1 hr and 20 min. round trip. Not terrible but I'm only able to visit usually once a week. When I placed him there it was for the activities and people to talk to. That was 2 years ago. At this time he doesn't participate in any activities nor does he really converse with anyone. He sits in the living room area, watches tv or sleeps. If you ask him a question he will answer but unless you really try to talk to him like I do you won't get much out of him. Of course, when I talk to him he talks away even though it doesn't make sense. All this info is to ask this question: I want to move him 5-10 minutes away from me but its a nursing home. I would be able to see him anytime I want. Nursing home has always seemed a bad word, a sad word. What are peoples thoughts on this.

LDiP3

We just put our mother in a ‘long-term, skilled’ facility. I am told that the more you move someone, they get more confused and can go downhill quickly.

LisaLH

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/201122#Comment_201122

I know that may be a concern but if he runs out of money I would have to move him anyways. He is in a private pay now. The nursing home will take medicaid when he runs out. So many difficult decisions

Emily 123

Hi LisaLH,

I'd get the medicaid promise in writing from the nursing home.

As long as the NH has a decent reputation and can handle dementia residents, having him nearer would make moving him a better choice. You want to make sure that they can meet his needs. Dementia patients may need more cueing and 'eyes on' to ensure they follow through with things. For example, if he needs a set up and a cue to brush his teeth, will it get done? Make sure those things are in his care plan.

Anonymousjpl123

I find being close by so helpful. I agree with @Emily 123 - make sure that his needs are cared for. If they will help with his daily needs, make sure he’s attended to (brushing teeth, incontinence if an issue, checking on him very very regularly), I would say he should be ok.

But do remember that having him closer doesn’t mean you have to go every day and have no life (I made that mistake).

I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I thought and still think memory care is a bad/sad word sometimes, but it has been the best possible thing for my mom.