Adjusting to the new normal

tetwoman

Today is day 3 of placement in mc for my beloved.

On day 1, we brought him in and sat for a while, and when he was escorted out to look around, my son and I left.

On day 2, both sons and I went to see him and bring a few more items. It was brutal. He sat in an almost catatonic state. But when I sat next to him, he put his head on my shoulder and I just cried... silent tears dripping down my face.

Today I am reminding myself that it was becoming dangerous for him to remain at home. I am reminding myself the he is not going to get better.

I kept very busy doing some of the things I just couldn't get to before. I am fighting the tears and sorrow and the missing him so so much even though he has been gone for a very long time. I was full of brave talk about how I was going to make a schedule for myself - I should have built in an hour for crying too.

My thoughts and good wishes are with everyone who is going through the very same thing.

Bill_2001

Dea Tetwoman,

'Brutal' is the perfect word for it. May you find peace in your decision.

My wife spent a week in memory care 4 years ago, but I did end up bringing her home. She improved quickly and that was an option for me.

While she was at memory care, I felt as if part of me had been ripped away. It was, as you said, brutal.

Love, Bill_2001

tetwoman

Bill, feeling like a part of you had been ripped away. I couldn't have said it better. Thanks for your kind words.

charley0419

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/68463/adjusting-to-the-new-normal

i think of being your situation all the time and wonder what I’ll do, guess what’s best is what you do.

Carolyn4255

I dread the day my husband will have to go to memory care. I think it will rip my heart in pieces. But for now he's with me, so I'll try not to think too far into the future.