Retired and can't be alone with my wife in house

Polska44

We have out lived friends. Wife is mobile but we have nowhere to go. My wife could come with me and not be left alone. I need at this stage somewhere to go to socialize for a few hours a day. I need to be with people. Family is not an option. I can't believe there aren't daily social groups.

I have to keep her at home as long a possible because of finances. I know that once I have to put her in a home that we will lose all our assets. That's a given and then I don't if that will be enough.

Please I am going mentally down hill fast. My blood pressure is now out of control and I have been in the hospital for it. I also sent a day in the hospital because I was having an mental episode. I have now started anti depressant and seeing a cardiologist.

We need places and activities out of the house, we need conversation. HELP

SusanB-dil

Hi Polska - have you looked into adult day care for her, and a senior center for yourself? Even a day or two or three a week sounds like it would help. Or even outside assistance for a day or two for a couple of hours so you could get to a local coffee shop or even a bookstore or senior center?

Rule #1 Don't argue with a PWD. Also Rule #1 Do take care of yourself

Jgirl57

Welcome; I am so sorry you are feeling this way . All of this disease is daunting . Some care centers have day programs for your DW if that would free you up to join someplace like the YMCA for yourself( lots of senior activities for socialization there) You definitely need to get your health stable. Care is expensive indeed, but if you have not yet discussed options with an elder law attorney , they might be able to protect some of your assets. Posting here is a very good first step, give yourself a pat on the back !!!

terei

Have you seen a CELA? I think you need assurance about your finances.

You dont say what condition your wife is in, but from what little you have said, you need to get AWAY from 24/7 caretaking. Our small town has a senior center that has activities + resources for seniors. Most counties have a dept for senior support.

I encourage you to meet with a CELA if you have not already. Secondly, I would find a way to get out of the house ALONE for support and socializing. Hopefully you can find someone to occcupy your wife while you get away for a least a few hours a week. You sounds as if you are in crisis + I urge you to ask for help wherever it might be available to you.

ButterflyWings

@Polska44 I hear your anxiety and despair, and we understand completely. You are not alone. Please call the free Alz Association 24/7 Helpline at 800.272.3900 and ask to speak with a Care Consultant. These are trained social work team members whose sole job is to help you figure out options even if you need them right now.

It was important that you reached out! I hope you find support and healing too.