Better Late Than Never

NUMber2

Ok... NOW I completely understand why safety is the #1 concern.

I can't make my LO happy. No place will ever be perfect for her or for me.

She has a lousy disease that makes reasoning with her impossible, even on her good days. I get it now. (It only took me 6 months)

SusanB-dil

Well, we learn as we go... 'cat'.

DH and I still end up attempting to reason, or at least explain between ourselves. When we find ourselves doing so, one of us inevitably says 'cat'. Because you can't reason with a cat! You can't reason with PWD. We know not to argue, but once in a while, even though we know better, it is just our nature to try to reason. 'cat'

LadyTexan

I relearn this lesson often.

Sometimes I amaze myself (in a ridiculous way) when I try to explain or reason or use logic with my PWD. Or even when I hope they will be happy.

My priorities are safety, dignity, reasonably clean and reasonably happy. I've learned that it is rare to get all 4 priorities met at the same time. I even write myself little reminders, like saying something louder will not make her understand it. I have to remind myself to keep my voice calm when my nerves are not calm.

I am a slow learner. Unfortunately, this awful disease gives me plenty of opportunities to try again.

Emily 123

Lots of us have been there 🙂

It takes a while to find your feet when dealing with this disease. The learning curve is steep, and often you have to learn on the fly. Outwardly your person may look and talk to you as they always have.

It seems like it would be easy to help them from point A to point B during their day, doesn't it? But the disease so distorts and interferes with their thought processes that even simple tasks become challenging and can go awry, and so they become vulnerable all the time.

jfkoc

and some days all decisions are a crap shoot!

SusanB-dil

@jfkoc Amen!!!

Even "good" decisions. They go sideways. they just do. yes, they do.

Anonymousjpl123

@NUMber2 you are really sticking through this with a great deal of humility and humanity. Your mom is really lucky to have you, even though I know it doesn’t always feel that way.

H1235

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/68500/better-late-than-never