Facility Responsibility for Resident Security

alliehutch33

My mom is in a memory care facility in NJ. My Dad is in independent living within the same facility. One of the other memory care residents is further along in his disease than my mom is. He is coming into my mom's room often times yelling at her to get out of his house. He has not been violent but very loud and frightening. Some of these have been in the middle of the night. My Dad was sleeping in my mom's room with her until we finally got the facility to put a lock on her door. Which has helped but if she forgets to close her door or lock it - this other resident is still doing it.

The facility is trying to say it is more of a problem with my mom than with the other resident. All they are willing to do after putting the lock on her door is they put a big banner across her door with a stop sign. They tried to tell us they weren't allowed to put locks on the door as it was against state law. I promptly produced the state law that said the opposite and we had a lock on her door the next day.

Does anyone know what a reasonable expectation would be for the facility to handle this? I know there is only so much they can do with the other resident. But I also feel that they have a responsibility to provide my mom with a sense of safety and security. She shouldn't have to be worried about someone coming into her room and yelling at her. At this point I feel that I can't trust the facility to come up with a solution. I need to find one and present it to them. But I don't even have an idea of what I should suggest.

harshedbuzz

@alliehutch33

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

Hmmm, I'm in PA (states can differ on licensing standards). Here MCFs have to have locks on residents' rooms from what I was told. At dad's MCF, they locked automatically when the door was closed. This kind of thing was only a problem when dad didn't want his door shut.

At my aunt's MCF (in MA) and man wandered into her room and was found in bed with her. Staff were very proactive at making sure it didn't happen again.

HB

alliehutch33

They recently relocated the memory care area to another space within the facility. My mom's original room had a lock - the room in the new area did not. When we asked them to put a lock on the door they told us that it was against state law to have locks on the resident's doors. I promptly found the NJ state law that says the opposite. Which is the only reason they put the lock on. This mis representation of the truth is what makes me feel that I have to find a solution to take to them - and they will not proactively come up with one.

The staff is doing what they can in the moment. And are trying to keep it from happening, but they also can't watch only him 24x7x365. It is the administration of the facility I feel should be trying to come up with some kind of a solution.

I did just locate this peel and stick door mural. It makes the door look like a book case. The theory being if it doesn't look like a door - he won't be inclined to try to go through it. https://www.alzstore.com/door-murals-peel-and-stick-p/0364.htm. I think we will give that a try.

JamieML

Great idea on the peel and stick 'bookcase'! I would love to know if it is effective.

HollyBerry

I'm curious - are there cameras in the hallways? Is anyone monitoring them? Who (what role or position of staff?) Is responsible for noticing when a resident leaves their room at night?

BassetHoundAnn

Hi, Alliehutch. I'm so sorry for the reason you're here, but welcome! You've come to the right place.

I encountered a very similar situation with my mom at her memory care. I found her one morning in a state of sobbing hysteria with her door barricaded with furniture from her room. When I spoke with the aids I learned that a male resident had been barging into her room, yelling at her, accusing her of being his wife, insisting that she return home and cook dinner for him. He had recently been moved from the assisted living area of the building where he had been living with his wife.

My mother had a lock on her door--in our state MCs are required by law to have them--but she was no longer capable of using it.

I raised a fuss with the managers. Spoke with the head nurse, the MC director, and the assisted living director. Everyone was very responsive, and extremely apologetic. After all my mom was being verbally assaulted. And it was assault. I was assured by various parties that they would speak with the man's family about further medication. Moving him to different floor or another part of the MC was another option. Removing the disruptive resident from the MC was also an option pending "review with our lawyer."

I don't know what tact was taken. I never heard. According to aids the resident had apparently been removed from the facility. Whether the family or management removed him I do not know. My mother described no more encounters and returned to a placid state.

So yes, the facility does have a responsibility to ensure that your mother is not assaulted, verbally or physically.

When I moved my mom into memory care I was given a list of phone numbers and e-mail addresses of managers. I phoned and e-mailed everyone on that list.

Good luck!

harshedbuzz

@alliehutch33

I hope the mural works. Dad's MCF had a door in the middle of a mural wall to access the lobby. Most residents were unaware of it. Dad knew there must be a door nearby but never located it.

HB