After the ER…

AmandaSims

Mom is still having tests preformed to rule out any physical issues but the doctor is pretty sure she has dementia. This happened so quickly! We had noticed symptoms but never connected the dots. She has her own apartment but obviously she’s not able to live on her own anymore. My husband and I have room in our house but feel ill-equipped. Do people usually go to a facility between the ER discharge and a family members home?

M1

Welcome to the forum. You are going to have some big decisions to make. Read a lot of threads on this forum--taking on the full-time care of a parent with dementia is no small undertaking. It will impact everyone in your family, regarding jobs, children, and your own household and extended family.

Since this is new to your family, one of the first things you need to do is get durable power of attorney for her for healthcare and finances---you will likely need that in place before you can make any permanent decisions about where she will live. A certified elder law attorney (look at nelf.org) can help you with the necessary paperwork, and can also advise you about handling her finances. Memory care can cost anywhere from $6000-upwards of $12.000 per month. If you cannot afford to pay that privately (and many cannot), you may need to think about getting her qualified for Medicaid, for which the requirements vary by state, and the attorney can also help with that.

If her dementia is still early, assisted living may be another option short of a locked memory care unit; although most on this forum will tell you that by the time families consider it, memory care is usually the more appropriate option.,

Your local Council on Aging may have information about other local resources available to you.

harshedbuzz

@AmandaSims

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

It's not typical to be diagnosed, even tentatively, in the ER. My dad was, but one of his dementias was treatable so he was admitted for 5 days after which he went to a SNF for PT and OT because he had a 3-day hospitalization that qualified him for Medicare to pick up the tab.

Unless she's admitted, she's probably going home with you which means you're going to be drinking from a firehose in terms of getting up to speed around best practices in dementia care. It's probably best to present her coming to stay as a visit necessitated by a problem in the apartment like a water leak or sewer line issue.

This is helpful information-

Excellent Handout Packet: dementia, stages, CGs, actively dying - Tam Cummings — ALZConnected

This is as well-

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580

HB

Quilting brings calm

An ER won’t do much about a dementia diagnosis unless they feel she needs a psych consult. Otherwise, once they rule out thyroid and B12 issues, they will refer you to a neurologist for follow up and send her home. They will tell you that dementia doesn’t mean she can’t live alone until she reaches certain symptoms.

there is anew caregivers group on the group drop down list somewhere. It will give you a crash course in dementia speak. Everyone here will be glad to answer your questions and read through lots of posts on the caregiver, spouse and parent discussion forums / you will pick up a lot of good information.