stage and preparation

LisaLH

My mother died in early 2015. At that time she had mentioned to me that she thought there was something wrong with my step dads memory. When she was dying from cancer I begin to see it too. He was able to live by himself for a couple of years but due to some major health issues that escalated his ALZ I had to move him to AL in early 2019. In 2021 I moved him to MC. He is mobile, totally incontinent, needs cues or redirection for everything but still has some of his stubborness:) and can communicate a sentence here and there before it becomes word salad. I have been thinking of moving him closer to me which would have to be in a NH. When I was touring 2 of them the director of one asked me if I had made arrangements for his death/funeral? I said no. My 2 questions: 1. How many of you made arrangements? 2. If you were to quess, what stage would you think he is in? Thank you for any info you can give me.

M1

Hi Lisa. Sounds like stage 6 if he is completely incontinent. I have made arrangements for no-frills cremation. The director may also want to know if you have medical power of attorney and whether a DNR order or living will is in place.

Quilting brings calm

We just recently lost my step-father. We went with no visitation, cremation and the remains to be held until Mom passes for a joint graveside service. This was their wish.

If they hadn’t had a chosen funeral home, there was a no frills cremation facility about an hour away that had a much less expensive cremation choice. We did only a death notice in the paper due to the high cost of an obituary. There’s already paperwork filed at the funeral home for mom. So we’ve pre-planned hers, but not prepaid.

LisaLH

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/202679#Comment_202679

I feel like he is in the latter stages also. I signed a DNR and do have ALL the power of attorney's. He is claustrophobic like me and told me when he died that he wanted me to throw him in the woods and like nature take its course😲 Of course, that means he will be cremated also like me.

LisaLH

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/202683#Comment_202683

My mother was cremated per her wishes. She is waiting on my sister and I to put her ashes in a river she loved. My step dad procrastinated(maybe the ALZ) so now we will do it. His ashes I plan to scatter in a lake where his father took him to fish a lot and has meaning for him. They bought plots in our hometown cemetery but never planned to be buried. They wanted headstones for history. That is something I will always remember my mom saying, you have a headstone for history.