Advice on individual refusing to come inside

jaykb

I work with a man who has dementia. Yesterday he insisted we go outside for ice cream. He refused to check his wallet with his phone (GPS tracking) and wallet for money. Then he went outside and refused to put on his jacket. I had to call his wife to get him to put on his jacket. He's middle stage, so I didn't feel safe leaving him outside while I got the jacket. What's an effective way to get him inside? I thought of maybe asking him to show me the bathroom, or telling him I forgot my backpack inside. I'm not sure what to do. Thanks

SusanB-dil

Hi jaykb - Yes, you could try telling him something was forgotten inside. A lot of us utilize fiblets - you have good ideas: 'forgot jacket' or 'where is ___ ' or 'seems cool out, lets go inside' - whatever works.

I know that a lot of us will be surprised he is working... but if still capable with what he does or is responsible for, that's something! It sounds like he is also a friend. Thank you for watching out for him. (although if he is forgetting and refusing things even like a jacket or wallet, I hope he isn't driving)

mommyandme (m&m)

Welcome to the forum…it’s wonderful you’re there for him and his wife.

I took your description of “work with” as “care for” meaning you are helping the family at home or a facility? Or are you in a workplace?

I think, like a with a small child, we must get everything packed up and ready before we head out for an excursion. Going forward that might help. You’re right that suggesting you need help with something may work at getting him amenable to your request. Lots of “fiblets” (therapeutic lies) help both the patient and the caregiver.

FTDCaregiver1

Hi jaykb - Its great you're helping in this way. Whatever works to get him back inside safely generally is the right way. Don't be afraid to be creative, using low tones, redirection and coaxing. For me, when my wife panicked outside, redirection by slipping her a cookie and resetting her panic button helped, from there while she focused on eating, I could then coax her back into the house without her even knowing that was MY focus by standing off to the side, subtle hand around her back and walking back inside at her own pace, sometimes not saying a word, or sometimes making up any excuse like I need some help, lets go see kitty cat, whatever seemed to work at the time. Good Luck.