Update - haven't posted in awhile. Been overwhelmed.

SDianeL

To recap: December 5th, I had to immediately place my DH in MCF because of my devastating diagnosis of a rare aggressive form of breast cancer that I needed immediate and aggressive treatment for.  I placed him in a facility and he got great care but it was very expensive. I applied for the VA Nursing Home facility and he was accepted. He moved February 6th. It has taken a long time for him to adjust to the new routine. They had to increase his Risperidone for his agitation and to help him sleep. The care is excellent except they don't have a phone he can use to make phone calls like the other facility did. I will talk to the Social Worker about that. I haven't been able to visit much because of my low immune system and being totally exhausted from chemo. His daughter who lives in another state visited for a week and saw him several times. He had one good day and several not so good days. My daughter goes when she can and she takes me when I feel up to going. I finished chemo 2/28 and will have surgery 4/25 so I won't see him for awhile after surgery. I'm going this weekend. He no longer recognizes family members and it's very difficult to carry on a conversation with him. He cries when I visit. He cried and said last time "we'll get through this" -- it broke my heart. He doesn't even know what "this" is.... Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

Jeanne C.

You're definitely in my thoughts. You have a lot on your plate. I know it's hard, but definitely focus on yourself right now. Let his daughter pick up the slack while you go through surgery and recovery. I know it breaks your heart. Sending you strength.

M1

Glad to hear from you Diane. Hang in there.

GiGi1963

Diane, thanks for reaching out. I/we where hoping to hear an update. Please take care of yourself and update when you can. Hugs

hiya

Diane, I’ve been wondering how things were going. Hoping the facility can arrange for a phone. You focus getting yourself through the next weeks. I hope your surgery goes well on 4/25 and you begin the road to recovery. Sending a big hug.

Joe C.

I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers.

Phoenix1966

Sending out positive energy to you and your family.

housefinch

I’ve been thinking of you—-sending you strength and comfort.

SSHarkey

How difficult for you! Praying!

JeriLynn66

Diane, continuing prayers for you each day and for your DH. I've written your surgery date on my calendar and will hold you especially close that day.

harshedbuzz

@SDianeL

Thank you for taking a moment to check in. You've been in our thoughts here.

Sadly, given the progression of your husband's condition, your wish for a phone is likely moot at this point. If he doesn't recognize family or converse much, he probably wouldn't call. And if he could, repeated calls or calls at odd hours would disturb your recovery.

Perhaps they have an activities coordinator who could help him FaceTime when he's having a better day.

I wish you the best as you prepare for your next steps and surgery.

HB

mrahope

Thanks you for this update. Obviously, this has been a bumpy ride for you and your whole family. I'm just hoping that you focus on recovering. It may well be critical. Praying for your recovery and for moments of comfort in the meanwhile.

White Crane

You are going through so much right now. My heart aches for you and for your dear husband. You will be in my prayers. Sending hugs.

Jgirl57

So wonderful to hear from you. Prayers for your surgery, recovery and DH placement adjustment . ((Hugs))

ButterflyWings

(((@SDianeL))) Sending you hugs, continued strength, and peace of mind to focus on your own healing. Your DH is safe and has loving attention from your support system as well as your own love. Praying for your successful procedure and full recovery.

tigersmom

So good to hear from you, Diane. I have thought of you often, and wondered how you were doing. It sounds like your DH is in a safe place and being well cared for, and that your daughter and his daughter are being helpful. I hope you can take some deep breaths and focus on caring for yourself, too, at this very difficult time. We are all pulling for you.