I'm just starting the journey and need advice

dazdintx

After three months in a SNF for various orthopedic problems, my husband's dementia "flared" which caught me by surprise as I hadn't really understood that his "memory" medications were for dementia. (it's a long story). Anyway...in January he had delusions where I was accused of conspiring with his doctor to keep him locked up, along with several other ugly scenes that sent me to his primary care for advice. His dementia diagnosis was explained to me and since then I've done a lot of reading and research. Here's my concern: Most of the time he seems rational and other than physically weak, gets along in the care home pretty well, if I stay away from dangerous topics. Then he will suddenly come up with something that he can't let go, like changing his will (don't worry I have a good durable poa), giving someone money, or seeing his pet cat walk across his room. Then we have a week or so of "normal behavior". Is this a common pattern? Do non-rational periods or fixations come and go? Will the non-rational thinking periods get more frequent? Or is the careful handling and avoidance of conflict just keeping the monster quiet?

SSHarkey

Welcome dazdintx! You’re right. Avoidance of conflict is the best option, because ability to reason has been destroyed. This disease isn’t “linear”, in that it doesn’t follow a regular point A to point B route. Hence the periodic outbursts separated by calm. You get moments of clarity then the curtains of memory shut. Sometimes you feel like you’re walking on broken glass. Oh so careful how you speak. Yes, as the disease progresses, the losses increase. I would encourage you to read up on information that discusses the progressive changes and what to expect. I have never liked being blindsided. I would rather prepare and not have it happen, than not be prepared.