POLST Form - Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment Form - overwhelming

CaliforniaGirl-1

My LO is very, very elderly. She was recently hospitalized and had surgery. We had to make a lot of decisions fast and under pressure in the ER. But luckily it all went as well as could be hoped. She is definitely more fragile than she was before the whole thing but she is doing well.

Her physician's practice is all elderly people in AL and MC, who comes to see them, in place, where they live, in their care communities. When he saw her recently, we had a discussion about the POLST form on file and that goes to hospital and the decisions we had to make under pressure, so to speak.

Like probably most people, my sibling and I are overwhelmed with making these choices for our LO, and didn't really understand the implications of each and when we might want to change them. Her doctor had a call with us (my sibling lives out of state but has been an active participant in my LO's healthcare decision making). The doctor went over the form with us and explained the choices and various , possible and likely outcomes and what they meant for a very elderly person in my LO's condition and what are the options in each case.

It was a good discussion and we each got to ask our questions. It was good to have it, when we were not in the middle of a healthcare crisis. We have changed a lot of choices on the form and understand more what those choices mean and when we may want to change them again. I am feeling a lot more comfortable than before and I think my sibling and I are more on the same page now. When only one of us is speaking to the doctor in real-time it is easy to get disconnected.

If you are feeling overwhelmed with this kind of thing. I really recommend it, if your LO's doctor will spend some time with you. For us, it was definitely worth making a doctor's appointment to do it.

So much of caring for a parent with dementia is just doing our best and hoping against hope that we are making the best decisions for them.

M1

you might want to read the book "Being Mortal" by Atul Gawande. We all die, and our loved ones have an excruciating, terminal disease. Death would be a welcome thing in our household.