Worried

justask

My mom who is 68 has shown drastic changes. She was showing odd symptoms even before she retired. She told me she probably shouldn't have been working at times because she was so discombobulated. She has trouble with memory, sleep, depression, anger. Not diagnosed. She refuses to take hardly any medication, even for pain. She is prescribed a low dose antidepressant, if she takes it.

A year or so ago she was diagnosed with sleep apnea. She fumbled with the machine for a good couple of months then just quit.

I am on disability myself and am in no way able to step in on a large part. She seldom has outside contact with people, she has horrible short term memory, has constant fatigue and brain fog. I know this is more than depression. I'm just not sure how to help.

Sometimes I look at her and don't see her there.

I'm worried more now and my mental health is fraying. We live where there are not many resources, my family is super tiny and my while my father is still fully functioning, is a wreck of anxiety himself.

Mom does have one older sister, not sure if I should to get her involved. Just not a lot of support all around and I feel like I'm the one sitting here holding the ball. Although I feel completely helpless and alone.

Like I said, I am by no means capable of taking this on. But I still worry, I still feel lost and hopeless. I still hurt for her and feel constantly overwhelmed.

M1

Welcome to the forum. You and your dad should get her to a doctor with a written summary of your concerns, perhaps delivered ahead of time. Don't talk to her about it, she will only get defensive. The other thing you need to do is talk to an attorney to get power of attorney for her for healthcare and finances (probably better you than your dad; you may need to think about getting POA for your dad too, for the future). A certified elder law attorney can also help you think about how to finance long-term care should she need it in the future, which includes how to qualify her for Medicaid. Look for such attorneys by location at nelf.org.