Fabrication of stories

kfunk

Does anyone else have a LO that fabricates stories? My mom will say people say things to her that just doesn't make sense and seem unrealistic. If so, how do you respond to a story that you know is fabricated and untrue but they believe it to be true.

Smilescountry

It happens all the time! With my dad, it can be hallucinations, delusions, confused thinking, etc. With mom, it seems to come from a loss of reasoning and problem-solving skills and susceptibility to the opinions of others. How I handle it depends. With dad, I never argue with him because it would only upset him. Much of the time, I try to figure out what is precipitating the story. For example, Dad is a retired pastor with excellent hearing, even if he does have Alzheimer's. He was fabricating horrible stories about people who worked in the AL that he though that he needed to help, and I figured out that he was hearing the aides talking softly in the halls about personal problems while they were on break. Once everyone understood that my dad could hear whispers halfway down the hall, and that they were causing him to have delusional thoughts, the problem was resolved. Sometimes, it is because he is physically uncomfortable, so if that is taken care of he is better. Sometimes, it is sundowning, and having him in his own room that is dark and quiet, perhaps with some of his favorite soft music, is best. Mom is at a place where I can reason with her some, but I have to do it gently because she realizes that she is not thinking straight. I I often ask Mom questions about the things that she says, and if I ask enough the story comes out right sooner or later, if she can find the words. She depends on me quite a bit to help her find the words! And even with her I have to hold my tongue at times and just let it go. With both of them, I try to focus on feelings more than facts, because it is the feelings that are most important to them at this stage.

kfunk

Thank you. I do notice that my mom tells stories based on things that she has overheard as I inquire more or about her previous employment. My mom too realizes she is not thinking correctly and that will upset her too.

Is your mom is AL or still at home?

terei

This is very very common. Do some reading on this site. It has been discussed many times

H1235

I’m mot sure if this is what is going on with your lo, but this is how it was explained to me and what we experienced. When they see something that their brain can not explain, or don’t remember they come up with the most logical explanation. We brought my mil some Pepsi and sat it on the counter at her Al apartment. We had a nice visit as we leave she sees the Pepsi and tells us that she just got back from the store, she may have even talked about how busy the store was… To her that is the most logical explanation and so that is how she filled in the blank of not knowing where the Pepsi came from.

harshedbuzz

@kfunk

There's a specific kind of storytelling that is very characteristic of dementia called confabulation.

Sometimes PWD have the gist of a memory of an event or situation but are hazy about the who, what, where, when and how it really happened and backfill with random details that were not part of the actual event.

Dad did this a lot. Early on before I understood this, it felt like rewriting family history and an attempt to level the playing field, as it were, between me and my late sister who'd been something of a hellion. I distinctly recall him telling my then teenaged son about the time I left my kids in the bar to go off with some dude I'd just met and how the bartender called him to come get them. Since DS is an only he was skeptical but often the stories made sense on some level to someone unfamiliar with the particulars.

The stories weren't always nasty, sometimes he recalled a pleasant time but botched the details. As his dementia progressed and dad became less oriented to reality, he started to conflate things that happened to others (mom's TKR or the flood that destroyed my house) as happening to him. He even conflated mom's crime dramas with him as the victim or all weather on TV as being right outside his door. At this point we put parental controls on the TV to avoid distressing material.

HB

SusanB-dil

Oh, yes - same here with MIL. Just recently she told how she went to a NASCAR race just the day before one of the drivers was in a nasty wreck, but that DH wouldn't remember, because it was before he was born. Bits and pieces of that statement were true, but strung together in a way that only made sense to her. The particular driver was in a wreck, but many years later. That particular track she mentioned was not even on the NASCAR circuit until after DH was maybe 11 yrs old. So… yes, she had been to races with her dad before she was even married or had DH, and yes, that driver had been in a wreck. Just not anywhere near the order that she was 'remembering'. We just simply said 'oh, wow, that's really something'.

She also 'remembers' visiting my daughter's house when she was a little girl, and that there were 2 children there that she used to play with and the dad was a truck-driver. That particular house wasn't built until 1990. We have no doubt that the house reminds her of a different house, but no way could have been the same house.

We go with the flow, nod and smile, and she looks pleased with herself for 'remembering' these tidbits.

harshedbuzz

@SusanB-dil

OMG, that is so much like what we saw.

I recall the day we goaded dad into selling his car. He agreed vindictively because he thought I wanted it for myself.

The used car guy was schmoozy and personable and dad enjoyed talking cars with him while we did the transaction. He had a grandmother with Alzheimer's and quickly recognized a fellow traveler.

Dad told a story about "driving his Miata along the coast in Cape May one night when he and mom had a babysitter for the kids". On the surface it sounds like a rational thought but—

The Miata was mom's not his and wasn't purchased until 2006 when I was 49 and my sister was dead— we didn't need babysitters.

They frequented Cape May in the mid-1970s well before Madza built Miata. Mom did have an MGB at the time. My sister and I were in high school at the time.

But the emotional content of the event was spot on— the drive happened in the summer of 1960 before my sister was born. The care was a TR3 and the road was on Cape Ann. Basically he took 3 different scenarios and created a mashup.

HB

SusanB-dil

@harshedbuzz - Yes - 'mashup' is a good description. Now I'm thinking that maybe (at least with MIL) the confabulations are mashups of the bits and pieces a LO remembers of just various things. Unfortunately, that may be all they remember from various times, and that is how their mind strings it together now.

Me&Sis

To me these "confabulations" are like dreams. When I dream, I mix up some of real life and tv shows I've seen and just plain old worries or wishes. Mom's stories seem the same… she watches the cows out my back window and tells stories of climbing over the fence and riding the neighbor cows with her friends. She watches my son ride his dirt bike around the property and tells stories of her brothers scaring her with rides on their motorcycles.

The brain just seems to be trying to make sense of all of the information that it holds and the missing pieces, reconnects things in a way that seems to make sense to her.