Walkers

Rjheld

My husband has a terrible time walking, he leans to one side, shuffles and his feet turn out to almost heels touching. How he hasn't fallen from this is beyond me. He has a walker and it has been a battle getting him to use it all the time. I am very tired of being mad, sad and angry all the time. He isn't afraid of falling. I have told him that if he falls and breaks something bad, he may have to live in a facility to get better. He has neuropathy in his feet/legs, not horrible yet but neurologist says between that and the brain is not telling his feet and legs to go, he kind of gets stuck and has a hard time getting them to move. He hangs on the walls, furniture to get around in the house. How can I get through to him?

Thanks for listening.

SSHarkey

How frustrating for you! And how unsafe for him! I can only assume he isn’t capable of understanding his limitations. Would he be open to something like a walking stick? It’s more “manly” and wouldn’t have the stigma that he may be feeling. I’ve seen many men use them in place of a cane. Maybe one for each hand. I’m just guessing here. But if he could try something like that, he may be more open to graduating to more sturdy support.

DTSbuddy

My DH becomes oppositional late in the day.He was agitated tonight about something, but he talks in word salad, so I don't know what. He really wants to do things his own way most of the time, but sundowning makes him adamant. He insisted on wearing the same clothes he wore all day to bed. And he would not brush teeth or wash up before bed. I was always able to talk him into it before. What am I doing wrong? I don't understand him. Threats don't work at all because they have no sense of time or consequences.. When I ask him to wash up, and he talks back incomprehensibly but with an angry tone, it feels like I'm being attacked. Be gentle, and kind, and complimentary, and attentive is what I need to do, but wow, that's hard. So, RJHeld, trying to help them, and being rebuffed is bad on the heart. Take care.

ImMaggieMae

Rjheld, my husband doesn’t lean to one side, but he usually walks with his feet pointed out to the sides like you describe. If I remind him he will try to point them straighter, but only for a few minutes. He also refuses the walker most of the time and uses furniture or grab bars that I’ve had installed. I follow him a lot of the time and hold his hand or arm. He usually seems pretty stable although he had collapsed by our bed once or twice when walking up to it and trying to get into it. It was very difficult to get him on his feet again. That’s why I started renting a hospital bed last November. We both stay on the first floor of our home now. I sleep on the sofa next to the hospital bed. I do know walking is important, even if it’s just short distances. He’s often up and down all afternoon because of sundowning. It drives me crazy sometimes, but it’s exercise.

I should add that the only walker he will use is that type with two wheels in the front and the rubber caps on the back. I bought him a fancy 4 wheel walker first, with all kinds of bells and whistles, but it moved too fast on our tile floors and he couldn’t grasp the concept of the hand brakes. I also got him a cane with the 4 prongs on the end but he tried to use it like a blind person would, putting it out in front of him. He couldn’t be taught to use it properly.

He needs help with all ADL’s so showering and changing clothes is just part of the routine. Fortunately he is almost always cooperative. If he doesn’t want to do something, five minutes later he’ll usually go along with it. He doesn’t like being away from me so he’ll usually follow. None of this is easy, but we do the best we can.

frankay

Rjheld- Does he have scoliosis? My DH has always had a slight case of scoliosis and a PT told me that people with scoliosis have a very hard time using a walker. My DH was never able to use one because he couldn't manage to make it go straight. He had to go straight to a wheelchair.

Jeannielou

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/68766/walkers

This could be me writing . It's my story to a tee. My DH has a cane, a rollator, and a walker. Our home is small and the walkers are cumbersome but I have to keep reminding him of his cane. I bought him a tray and a basket for his walker and he loves that but it doesn't fit in the bathroom so he only uses it to carry things. The rollator stays in the car because it offers him a seat when we are out. He has a terrible time getting out of a chair. He falls a lot because his mind is always on something else. I have given him the fall talk as well but he does it his way and I get tired. He is 6'5" so I have to call 911 every time he falls and because he is taking blood thinners, he has to go to the ER to be checked out which means me sitting in the cold ER for at least four hours while he is wrapped in warm blankets. You are not alone for what it is worth.

M1

Issue here as well. My partner does have scoliosis as well as rheumatoid arthritis, cannot lift her feet well. She has been told mulitple times she'd benefit from a walker but can't remember to use it and is too stubborn to try, even if reminded—told me yesterday that "the day I have to use a walker is the day I shoot myself." So she continues to trip and fall. It's almost inevitable that one of these times she's going to really hurt herself. But I don't know what else to do about it. Her years of hard physical labor have kept her muscles strong and her bones in relatively good shape, so no fractures—so far. But she's given herself multiple shiners.

harshedbuzz

@Jeannielou I spend a fair amount of time in ERs with my mom who doesn't have dementia. There's not shame in asking staff— who are typically wearing fleece jackets themselves— for blankets for yourself. I've never had one say no. Alternately, you could pack a go-bag for your car that has whatever you need to make it through an ER visit.

I think anosognosia applies to this issue as well as not recognizing cognitive changes. A PWD might not realize that they aren't the healthy and fit person they were in their youth. Dad, then 83, didn't need to use his walker because he "wasn't old".

This is exacerbated by the short-term memory loss that prevents them from remembering the device and learning to use it properly. And then there's always the executive function loss— i.e. the "if this, then that" reasoning— that prevents them from appreciating the risk of non-compliance.

HB