Two Story Reality Check

H1235

If sil gets confused and you think she may have a hard time understanding things I would maybe try to go over some basic things with her before the cela. The lawyer took time and explained everything to mom very simply. But then went in to some additional details for my brother and I. My brother said he didn’t understand half of what she was saying. I have given him many print outs, highlighted with note in the margins to explain, but he still doesn’t even know the difference between Medicare and Medicaid. Point is your sil is going to be hit with a lot any a basic understanding going in would be a good idea. Just an idea.

concerned_sister

Thank you. I'll be at there home tomorrow evening for dinner. Any other suggestions for prep are appreciated. One of the goals of tommorow is making sure we have the full set of documents we plan to bring.

concerned_sister

Again, to everyone who has helped me on my learning curve up to here, a sincere thank you.

ButterflyWings

@concerned_sister this is for after you secure the DPOA documents. It sounds like YOU should make sure there are copies made and filed in multiple locations so they don't go missing. I would guard the original/s with my life. With the issues DYB seems to have, and the inevitability of progression, you don't want to have to do this over again.

PWDs are notorious for re-homing, rummaging, tossing, and mine was good for defacing important docs. (Writing all over them in pen and folding into little pieces, stashing in pockets to get laundered, etc.) If I could go back in time, I would scan and email myself a copy of the final executed POA/s, will, etc. That way you can always put your finger on a notarized copy, at least. Some keep a copy in the glove compartment of the car so it is handy if needed for a medical emergency visit — others have kept copies via scan, or screenshot on their phone.

Expect the bank or credit union (especially) to require their own POA. And the SS Administration requires their own verification for designating surrogate payees ("rep payees"). DH's doctor's letter sufficed. Our state requires 2 POAs (make sure they are DPOAs) — one for 'property' and finances, the other for health decisions and 'person' e.g. your LOs whereabouts, final directives, etc. After all that you are going through to get this done, you really don't want to have these important documents go missing.

I wonder if DYB has some cognitive delays of his own? Also, maybe the lawyer has an interpreter that can be available to help share any complex Q&A in your SIL's native language. Same for any doctors or specialists in the future so it is not all on you to be the glue. Glad she trust you, but it is not unusual for people to have multiple language interpretation available somehow. Even on Zoom there is a translate function, for example.

M1

This is all excellent advice from BW. My partner invalidated her will by making handwritten, undated, unsigned changes to the original document. When we had it redone i never gave her the original, only a copy. And i scanned all of the poas as well as the wills into my computer and have copies on my phone; i have emailed them numerous times and having the phone copies is very useful for hospital episodes. And yes, some banks and most financial investment companies have their own proprietary poa forms that they will want signed.

The attorney can also use a professional "language line" telephone interpreter if needed, it might be worth a telephone call ahead of time to inquire about this. These folks are expert at translating medical and legal terminology.

concerned_sister

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/205661#Comment_205661

ButterflyWings,

Thank you for the advice. I'll make sure to have physical and digital copies made. I'll include out of state brother on the distribution for purposes of safe keeping. Perhaps SIL can use google translate on her phone during the CELA meeting. I had contacted the Alz Assoc about the possibility of SIL speaking with someone who speaks her native language to ask questions of etc. They said they could have someone available for a phone call with a doctor to do a translation, but not for a conversation the way I described it. I owe SIL an email with the details of the research I had done on this site re "catastrophic" for Veteran's benefits. She said she'll use Google translate with that. Perhaps I can work this topic in to the discussion when I go over there later today.

concerned_sister

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/205663#Comment_205663

M1, thank you for your insights and suggestions.

H1235

We also did an advanced directive when we meet with the lawyer. Something to consider. Medical poa and advanced directive were scanned into the hospital/doctor files. I agree with keeping a very close eye on originals. My db couldn’t understand why mom shouldn’t be able to keep originals. At the very least I would make sure you have copies of everything.

concerned_sister

Thanks Chug, I hadn't thought of making sure the Dr's had copies.

Chammer

I would ask if you can record the conversation w CELA so you are all able to listen to it in a less stressful setting and glean additional clarity for all parties.