How to respond to "why don't I remember that?"

annie51

We had a couple of quick family visits this spring including my DH's sister and three others, who stayed with us for two days. He has asked me a couple of times when she is coming and when I say she came a couple of weeks ago he says "why don't I remember that?". I usually just say yes, we had a great time, show a couple of pictures, etc. Is there a better, more thoughtful way to respond to this?

Quilting brings calm

I would just laugh it off as ‘wasn’t very memorable, huh?’. Along with our memory plays tricks on us as we get older. Then yes- do you want to see the photos?

trottingalong

my DH will ask the same type of questions. After a recent visit we had, he asked that question, I said “probably because it wasn’t that memorable” and laugh. Usually that’s all he needs and he doesn’t go into any more detailed questions. I have shown him pictures like you, but he never seems interested in looking at them or will say something negative. I just go by what seems to work for me and my DH. What’s hard for me is that there is so much that I don’t even bother conversing about any more because I’m never sure of the reaction or non reaction I might get.

M1

happens here too, all the time, and I just say matter of factly, "you've just forgotten." She doesn't take offense. Pictures do help, to a point. My partner doesn't remember anything of our past together now, including my kids, her relatives, etc.

sandwichone123

Since you've gone down this road before, you might skip the process and when he asks when she's coming just say, "I don't know when she'll get out here again." If he reminds you that she was going to come you can comment about how hard it is to plan anything these days.

annie51

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/204571#Comment_204571

Great idea…especially since, as you say, I've gone down this road before. Thanks!