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The man in the mirror

Hi I'm new to the group and my BF has EO alzheimers with FTD. He also has speech aphasia. He is 44 and was diagnosed last fall. All has been well, as far as him staying home alone. I close one day per week till 9pm. Well a few weeks ago we came home and he had to go potty he said in the mirror "I gotta go okay bye" I just smiled and said talking to yourself. He smiled and said yeah. Then we went to a dr appt and he said in the bathroom mirror at the facility "I'm gonna eff you up" I again thought that was strange. Then last week he called at work crying saying I needed to come home. So I did. He said the boy is from when I was with my aunt. I explained it was his reflection and he was fine. One day this week he even wanted to take "him" leftovers so he could eat. Well this week the person in the mirror is bad. The person told him that "I am his wife" and my BF did not like that. I had to come home early again from work tonight cause "he" was in my bathroom all over my stuff. I had the maintenance guy take the mirror down in his bathroom but not in mine as I need it. I know this is something that can happen woth AD but what does one do in this case? We are in the process of getting a caregiver for him for a few hours but he isnt a fan of it. He knows what going on just the man on the mirror is an issue. His neurologist said to gave his pcp make a referral to go see a Geriatric psychologist, that would be one more dr I don't have time for as I work full time. Now I'm jsit rambling. Help! Someone, anyone. Thanks!!!

Comments

  • SSHarkey
    SSHarkey Member Posts: 298
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    Hello, MarDe. Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry to hear that such a young man is dealing with this terrible disease. As for the man in the mirror, I do know that this kind of delusion is common with different forms of dementia. Considering that your BF is only 44 and he has been experiencing this already is an indication that the disease is progressing rapidly. You will not be able to avoid more medical doctors. He will not remain stable for any long periods of time. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but the reality of early onset is that it’s fast. Decisions will need to be made quickly about the steps necessary for his well being and his safety. As a full time employee, this will mean outside support. The sooner you have a plan in place, the better. Be sure his legal paperwork is up to date. Not just his will, but power of attorneys. I don’t know how much his family is involved, but you will need a support system. A mirror idea, cover yours with a towel or scarf. Maybe that will keep him from being distracted. This is a great community of support. Share or ask questions any time.

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 502
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    welcome and sorry for this tragic diagnosis at such a young age for your BF. Please take a few breaths and get the Geri psych referral going. It may take months before he is actually seen. I am sure you are feeling overwhelmed but I am glad you found “us”. Take this one step at a time ….

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    Ask if his pcp is willing to prescribe an antipsychotic like Seroquel or Risperdal in the meantime. These drugs can dampen down his reactions to the delusions at least.

    he's probably not safe to be alone any more, sadly. Hope you can find a solution quickly so that you can keep working.

  • GothicGremlin
    GothicGremlin Member Posts: 868
    Fifth Anniversary 250 Likes 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments
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    Hi @MarDel0917 This is a tough one. I'm glad you found us.

    First things first - If you look at the top of the screen you'll see a section labeled 'Groups' - click on that and you'll find an FTD group that you can join. You'll find a subset of us who are dealing with what you're dealing with. I'll add though that the responses you've gotten here are right on point.

    My sister was also diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's as well as FTD. She also had primary progressive aphasia. Is that what your BF has?

    Early onset does indeed move quickly.

    Wishing you the best.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,541
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    Hi and Welcome @MarDel0917.

    My dad had this as well at times. You can buy removeable "privacy" window film that will prevent a reflection. You can find it at places like Home Depot. This phenomenon can happen with uncovered windows when it's dark, too, so it's best to draw curtains at dusk. Dad went through a phase where portraits and glass framed prints triggered this, too.

    HB

  • Joe C.
    Joe C. Member Posts: 974
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    MarDel, Welcome, but sorry you needed to seek out our community. When DW was going through this stage I purchased suction cup curtain rod holder and hung a curtain which I could open when I needed to use the mirror but kept closed otherwise. Then I put a framed print with a nature scene over her dresser mirror.

  • Sunshine44557
    Sunshine44557 Member Posts: 6
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    Member

    My dad has EO as well and is experiencing hallucinations i.e. there's someone in the house. We have learned and been told that instead of saying no there isn't, to take their words as the truth because for them it is. My mom will say okay let's look for them and get them out and that seems to help - even though it of course feels strange! we have also learned that distractions are good as well. when he was going through an episode she put on the TV which helped, and another time she said ok let's go in the car which also helped.

    I hope these are little learnings you can use and help you too. thinking of you! 💛

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more