Can others understand?

mpang123

When my neighbors/friends ask me about my parents, I say they're stable.

Sunnyside42

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/68908/can-others-understand

I don’t think anyone can understand unless they have walked in an Alzheimers caregivers shoes.

ghphotog

I've heard the same things many times. "My "mom", "dad" had dementia and "WE" placed them in memory care."
WE as the operative word. I don't make light of those comments as dementia is hard on every member of the family but many of them weren't full time, 24/7, solo caregivers year after year with very little help so they really can't understand the true nature of our struggles but that's ok, not many do but they mean well.

LindaLouise

So true that no one really wants the details. My issue is that I also help care for my 92 year old mom, who maybe has some mild dementia and needs a lot of care. We have home health aides, but sometimes I need to let my brothers know just how limited my time is to actually show up for my mom. She lives near by, but my DH is triggered by her constant complaints and doesn't want to go - he is a wanderer, and has a lot of agitation at this point, so it is very hard to manage the two of them together, even when I'm on the phone with my mom. My brothers - who have a "different" mom than I do! due to me being the daughter and hearing all the complaints! - send a lot of text messages about the pain of seeing her suffer, and it is really hard to be dealing with all the emotions of losing/caring for my DH, along with not sleeping, freaked out by the agitation and angry outbursts AND rally up the energy to deal with my very needy mom. I need to find a way to communicate this to my brothers, but they don't want to hear it! I somehow know if one of them were losing their spouse, it would be very different…

Alexis D

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/68908/can-others-understand

I understand completely! I can only image how hard it is for you. My mother has it and as of the last time I went to visit her, it was too hard for me to sleep at her apartment because things were just non-stop. It’s so hard and sad. Take care of yourself! XO