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Today is going to be rough

I could use a little strength and grace today. No need to reply but maybe send some positivity my way?

I slept badly last night and then started the day at 4 am when I had to change and shower my husband.

Why the bad sleep? Today is the day I make my husband's funeral arrangements. I know it needs to be done. And I know it's just one more step on this journey. And I know it doesn't mean he's going to die any sooner. But my heart is breaking. And the person I could always count on to hold me together cannot help me anymore.

Comments

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    Sending good thoughts. Good step to take. I recently did it too. Don't let it make you feel bad. Churchill planned his own (state) funeral and called it Operation Hope Not.

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,443
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    edited April 17

    I know it’s hard. It will take a while to do ( if you’ve never done it before). Don’t get talked into more than you want or need. A funeral director told us himself that every vault he sold did the same thing and was, of course, going to be totally underground. The differences are just decorative.

  • JeriLynn66
    JeriLynn66 Member Posts: 825
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    hugs and prayers today ❤️

  • MYnxchapter1935
    MYnxchapter1935 Member Posts: 3
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    Good thoughts and prayers to you. You are so smart for taking care of this while you can make smart decisions with a clear mind rather than rushed one’s.

  • concerned_sister
    concerned_sister Member Posts: 425
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    Some folks are opposed to cremation for religious or other reasons. If this is an option you would consider, the following may be of interest.

    There is a company, Science Care, that will handle the logistics after the passing of a loved one. From retrieval, to arranging donations, to cremation, to providing the remains back to the family. There is no charge for this service. My dad's cousin has firsthand experience per the passing of three family members and she speaks highly of them.

  • GothicGremlin
    GothicGremlin Member Posts: 853
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    @Jeanne C. I've been thinking about you and wondering how you are. Sending you every positive thought I have!

    This is such a tough step. I did the same thing for my sister, also well in advance. We always talk about the eventual outcome from this disease, but making burial and funeral arrangements just smacks you in the head with it. I've made funeral arrangements before, but never for a sibling or someone close to me in age. It was so upsetting I didn't even tell Peggy's friend M that I did it. I wanted to confide in him, but I knew it would bring him to tears, so I waited until the time got close.

    I'm so sorry that this was something you had to get through today.

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 481
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    Good job JeanneC; it is definitely hard to do. I did it as well without my husband present and I have never mentioned it to him. I gave myself the OK to just sit and cry afterwards. Be proud of how strong you are.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more