He wants to go home . . .

KathyF1

Every day my DH begs me to take back to his home town (6 hours away) to see his mom and dad (who passed long ago). I try telling him they are in heaven. That his siblings are coming here to see us ( I’m not sure they are). Nothing works. I know his longings are real and I feel so bad for him but it’s also so hard for me to hear the rants all day. Has anyone else experienced this?

Dio

I'm so sorry. Reasoning won't help. Maybe just play along and tell him, sure, you'll plan for the trip, then use delay tactics? Hang in there. This phase will pass.

M1

My partner asks see her parents and her dead sister every time we visit. I think it's because she has more memories of these people than of anyone else. I just respond with an affirmation of how much she loves them.

sandwichone123

He truly believes that home still exists and that his parents are in it. There are two ways that are often suggested for dealing with this. One is fiblets: "yes, we'll go there tomorrow, after we…something." Get the car fixed, after your brother gets here, when the daisies are in bloom."

The other is to address the emotion rather than the content of the question: "You're thinking of home. What's the first thing you'd like to do when you get there?" Hug my mother. "What will your mother want to say to you?"

I hope one, both, or some combination of these work for you. One thing that does not work is reasoning. He truly know that his home exists there, and when you tell him it doesn't it hurts and makes it hard for him to trust you.

Ernie123

I dealt with this issue with my DW years ago and was told that wanting to go home can be interpreted as “ I feel confused and scared, don’t recognize where I am so I want to go back to the place I remember where I felt safe and loved….my childhood home”. Early memory will persist when recent events cannot be retained. My DW, who is now in final stages of Alzheimer’s, still recognizes (I think) her sister who is just a year older. They were always very close growing up. I however, her husband of 56 years, am not recognized usually.
Years ago when she would start saying she wanted to go home, I would treat it as she is feeling anxious and afraid. I would do my best to distract her, take her for a drive, get out a picture album etc., but not try to explain her childhood home and parents were long gone. I might say her parents were in Florida and will be back soon. You need to be a detective and figure out what the behavior is really saying and not react literally.