Trying to do the right things

mpang123

I find taking care of my parents is a great challenge for me. I've been reading the postings from everyone and I'm more informed about dementia. My dad has vascular dementia and my mother has symptoms of Alzheimer's dementia. My mom can still take care of dad but I have to step in to help both of them when needed. I am disabled myself but I get by. My nephew and I are co-agents of DPOA for my mom when the time comes when she is incompetent. I guess my mom holds legal powers for my dad since he is too far along with his dementia to speak up for himself. My dad's symptoms are not as severe as the ones I read about. He is very quiet and peaceful. But can't drive, take meds, cook, take care of hygiene, and difficulty expressing himself and confusion. He broke his back and fell and fractured his pelvis last year which has accelerated his dementia symptoms. He is a fall risk and is in a wheelchair but can walk short distances. He is bowel and bladder incontinent and has an indwelling catheter. He's never going to be the same.

My mom gets confused easily and her memory is bad. I have to explain things to her and remind her of things. She can still cook, take care of herself, do housekeeping and pay bills and such. But I need to do things for her that she can't do.

DPOA is only good when mom is incompetent. I just help out with things that I can do for right now. I know they appreciate my help but I can't do everything.