Trying to get help from somebody but moms jealous what do I do !!

sincinlv

So my mom goes to daycare but a patient that goes there has offered to help me with my mom at home . She has helped me before and has been no problem but this weekend my mom told the caretaker that’s helping me that she comes first and pretty much told her that she didn’t like her and that no one gonna replace her , I told my mom she will always be my mother and no one will come before her but I have a feeling that she’s gonna give me a hard time when I have people help me . I also have the caretaker stay at the house with me is it too much for her should I not be allowing the caretaker to spend the nite .what do I do I need advice

M1

Welcome to forum. I must say it sounds odd that a "patient"-i assume you mean a participant- in the daycare program is capable of being a caretaker for your mother. Perhaps you mean it is a staff member of the daycare program, but that's not what you said? Regardless, I would be very leery of letting this person spend the night, it sounds like this person is taking advantage way beyond any appropriate employee boundaries and i would get them out of your house asap. Freeze your credit and make sure nothing has been stolen. Change your locks.

A lot of people with dementia are resistant to having home caregivers, your mom's reaction is not unusual in that regard. Sometimes it works to tell them the caregiver is a friend who needs a job, but generally it's best to say that they are there to help you, not them ( because many with dementia don't think they need help). But in this case, it's very hard to tell. It sounds like a dicey, inappropriate situation and your mother may be picking up on that reality. If you hire someone, go through a vetted agency. More expensive but it will avoid problems like this.