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I'm overwhelm!

Vicks
Vicks Member Posts: 2
First Comment
Member

My DH was diagnosed with dementia a few months ago I don't really know witch one because every time we see the doctor it changes. He sees things that I don't see. I'm amazed how fast its progressing the way that he cant remember things. He is only suppose to be in the mild stage. What really gets me is all the paper work I have to do to get ready for when he progress in to the disease. And the VA will not help. I've done the estate planning and that took a lot of time because I had to change our beneficiaries on all our policies. We have been married over 50 years.

I guess I'm just venting.

Comments

  • Hope5757
    Hope5757 Member Posts: 150
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    Member

    Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry for the reasons that brought you here but believe strongly that you will find a community of people with experience and supportive sympathies. Many are also spouse caregivers.

    Venting is highly encouraged so vent away.

    I am the primary caregiver for my 91 yo MIL. I was able to take early retirement to care for her so my spouse and I are both home.

    I read posts from spouses who are carrying all of the responsibilities alone while at times still working or managing their own serious health issues. Often at an age where both energy and strength is limited. I’m filled with admiration and awe at you and the other spousal caregivers.

  • midge333
    midge333 Member Posts: 331
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    Member

    The legal and financial aspects are a lot of work up front but more than pay off later when things get really tough. I am sorry you are going through this.

  • SherryRS
    SherryRS Member Posts: 14
    10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    I'm in the early stages of caring for my DH. It is wonderful to see the help and support in these discussions. I'm glad I finally made myself sit down today and get registered.

  • ThisLife
    ThisLife Member Posts: 263
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    Member

    The early paperwork that you have accomplished will definitely pay off, but I remember how overwhelmed and exhausted I felt while doing it.

    You mentioned the VA won't help in this context. concerned_sister started a thread New here- Looking for help for a brother. Scroll down to the later posts, there is some very detailed information on veterans benefits and forms and documents to use. I'm nowhere near an expert. My DH was being seen by a PCP at the VA. They treat vets of all age groups. They asked if I wanted a referral to the Geriatric Clinic. I started getting a bit more help there. Local VA Offices as well as VA hospitals have VSO's (Veterans Service Officer) that can help with the paperwork. I found the best place to find out what benefits are available is to ask to be referred to a social worker. They have been the most helpful.

  • opksguy
    opksguy Member Posts: 3
    First Comment
    Member

    I’m a newcomer to this. My DW is in mid stage dementia, starting last October and is aggressively getting worse. Being the caregiver and trying to to work with an elder lawyer is so overwhelming. My DW is only 67, it’s difficult thinking I’ll have to deal with MC placement in the future.
    I just needed to vent/talk.

    Thanks

  • Vicks
    Vicks Member Posts: 2
    First Comment
    Member

    Thanks for all the encouragement. I'm trying to be prepared for the future. It does help to know that others are addressing what I am experiencing. Thanks for the info on the VA. I agree even the thought of finding placement in the is difficult.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more