I'm overwhelm!

Vicks

My DH was diagnosed with dementia a few months ago I don't really know witch one because every time we see the doctor it changes. He sees things that I don't see. I'm amazed how fast its progressing the way that he cant remember things. He is only suppose to be in the mild stage. What really gets me is all the paper work I have to do to get ready for when he progress in to the disease. And the VA will not help. I've done the estate planning and that took a lot of time because I had to change our beneficiaries on all our policies. We have been married over 50 years.

I guess I'm just venting.

Hope5757

Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry for the reasons that brought you here but believe strongly that you will find a community of people with experience and supportive sympathies. Many are also spouse caregivers.

Venting is highly encouraged so vent away.

I am the primary caregiver for my 91 yo MIL. I was able to take early retirement to care for her so my spouse and I are both home.

I read posts from spouses who are carrying all of the responsibilities alone while at times still working or managing their own serious health issues. Often at an age where both energy and strength is limited. I’m filled with admiration and awe at you and the other spousal caregivers.

midge333

The legal and financial aspects are a lot of work up front but more than pay off later when things get really tough. I am sorry you are going through this.

Jo C.

I am so sorry for all that is happening or not happening. Getting things addressed to reasonably manage takes so much time and is a lot of work for most of us. Once all the ducks are in a row, it is easier except for those care needs that are expensive on a tight budget and lack of assistance with care.

Even if a person feels they do not ever want to place their Loved One (LO), it is still by far best to screen Memory Care and NHs to see which are most acceptable IF something dramatically untoward occurs and it becomes an absolute necessity to place for one reason or another - this will keep one from having to do such a screening under pressure and time constraints. May never have to use such a facility but if something untoward happens, it is a relief to know which facilities would be acceptable. Finding more than one would also be good because some places will not always have available beds.

Hopefully, if not wanting to place, it will all work out well without having to make such a change. Still; knowledge is power. One never knows what will be.

J.

SherryRS

I'm in the early stages of caring for my DH. It is wonderful to see the help and support in these discussions. I'm glad I finally made myself sit down today and get registered.

ThisLife

The early paperwork that you have accomplished will definitely pay off, but I remember how overwhelmed and exhausted I felt while doing it.

You mentioned the VA won't help in this context. concerned_sister started a thread New here- Looking for help for a brother. Scroll down to the later posts, there is some very detailed information on veterans benefits and forms and documents to use. I'm nowhere near an expert. My DH was being seen by a PCP at the VA. They treat vets of all age groups. They asked if I wanted a referral to the Geriatric Clinic. I started getting a bit more help there. Local VA Offices as well as VA hospitals have VSO's (Veterans Service Officer) that can help with the paperwork. I found the best place to find out what benefits are available is to ask to be referred to a social worker. They have been the most helpful.

opksguy

I’m a newcomer to this. My DW is in mid stage dementia, starting last October and is aggressively getting worse. Being the caregiver and trying to to work with an elder lawyer is so overwhelming. My DW is only 67, it’s difficult thinking I’ll have to deal with MC placement in the future.
I just needed to vent/talk.

Thanks

Vicks

Thanks for all the encouragement. I'm trying to be prepared for the future. It does help to know that others are addressing what I am experiencing. Thanks for the info on the VA. I agree even the thought of finding placement in the is difficult.