Power of Attorney

Daisie

Hi. I'm new here. My mom is 90 and was diagnosed with vascular dementia about five years ago. The decline had been relatively slow, but getting significantly faster the last few months.

I'm wondering about POA. While there's an advanced directive in place, I never thought about POA because 1) I'm the only child, 2) there's really no other family (my dad passed several years ago), 3) there are virtually no assets, no property (we live in an apartment), no retirement account - nothing - to worry about (she doesn't even have life insurance or savings), and 4) I am the beneficiary on all of her bank accounts, am second on her accounts, and pay all of her bills already ( there are only a few and I just pay them online).

Is POA necessary in this case? I didn't have it when my dad died in 2007, either, and it all worked out fine. Then again, he passed quickly from cancer.

Thank you! Feeling very alone and lost through this!

M1

Welcome to the forum. It would be prudent to have it, and to have a backup named as well. Think about this: if something happened to incapacitate you tomorrow, who would step in? You may not anticipate having to place her in a facility, but if you draw up the appropriate documents now, you could prevent a lot of chaos down the line if unexpected things happen. While my partner has no children and i hold both medical and financial poa, when we had the papers drawn up we named her long time accountant as backup financial poa and a close friend who is a physician as backup medical poa. That gives me a lot of comfort to know that a plan is in place. Believe me, it can happen in a heartbeat: I'm15 years younger than she is but had a serious life threatening illness last year.

BassetHoundAnn

Hi, Daisie. I am in a situation similar to yours. Is a POA necessary? Oh definitely! So many people have asked me for copies of my mom's durable POA on this journey that for a long time I was keeping a copy in the car. Her bank, even though my name is on her accounts. Care facilities. Medical facilities, because they want to see proof that I have the right to question and handle her bills. Her medical insurance company. Nursing agencies when I hired help to help me with my mom. I think even hospice wanted to see it. When I put freezes on her credit bureau reports they also wanted copies of the POA.

An activated medical POA is also essential for dealing with care facilities, providers and medical facilities.

You do need both of those documents.

In our state in order to activate the medical POA I needed to get a Statement of Mental Incapacity from her doctor. Another essential document. Speak with your mom's doctor.

Anonymousjpl123

I think it’s always good to have, mainly to make things easier on you. As she progresses, her thinking may become muddy and that POA can help with a lot. Things you may not expect. I felt the same as you when I got it for my mom, and 6 months later is was essential to getting her care because her health took a dive and she wouldn’t go to ER. Good for you for starting to think this through now.

CaliforniaGirl-1

If you think there is any chance you will need it, do it now before her condition advances to the point that a reputable attorney feels she cannot give instruction and sign it. The attorney represents your mom and will need to ascertain she understands what she is signing. Most elder law attorneys are patient and understanding, but at the end of the day there will come a time when your mom should not be able to sign legal documents for herself anymore.

Like so many things timing is everything and once it turns out you need it, you might have to pursue more difficult options if you don't have it and her condition has advanced.

Daisie

Thank you all for your insight! We're going to get the POA witnessed and notarized tomorrow before she gets any worse - she's almost at that point, and I almost waited too long! I suspect she'll need to transition to memory care in the next few months!