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Mom broke her hip two days ago

This past Sunday, I got a call from my Mom's Memory care. She had fallen and they thought her hip was broken. She was sent ambulance to the nearest trauma center and it was determined she did indeed break her hip (femoral head). They did surgery the same day and replaced the femoral head. My Mom was fully ambulatory, and doing very well in her Memory care prior to this fall. The hospital said she will not qualify for rehab due to her dementia and was trying to send her back to her assisted/living memory care facility. I had to call the memory care and get the head of nursing to call the hospital to tell them they could not handle Moms condition as they were not skilled nursing. They still have not found skilled nursing that will take Mom. The only other option is to send her back to her memory care with a full time sitter and home health. Has anyone experienced this before?

Comments

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,715
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    So sorry. A broken hip is frequently a terminal event. Surgery is almost always necessary just to stabilize the fracture and relieve pain. She will need someone with her 24/7 to prevent her trying to get up. Have you thought about a hospice evaluation? If she gets better, so be it, but if not, you'll have the right resources. Very tough indeed.

  • mrahope
    mrahope Member Posts: 527
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    So sorry this happened to your Mom, and to you. Wish I had something to offer other than my sympathy to you both. Very tough.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,353
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    I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. As part of discharge planning, the hospital social worker should be assisting you in finding a SNF that will accept her as a resident.

    That said, when this happened to my aunt who was stage 5ish and in an AL, she progressed a great deal between the trauma of the fall, surgery and hospitalization. family was expected to provide some 24/7 to keep her from getting out of bed. Since there was no money for this VA Aide & Attendance, and her small family (cousin, her son's widow and one sister who was already a dementia caregiver) covered most of it.

    The surgery went well, but she only lived a few months beyond it.

    HB

  • ThisLife
    ThisLife Member Posts: 254
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    I was amazed when MC wanted DH to have someone 24-7 for a completely different issue. We had LTC; one 8-hour shift per day plus the monthly cost of MC was 4000 more than the monthly allotment from LTC! Only the ultra-rich have money for personal care 24-7.

  • lostdaughter58
    lostdaughter58 Member Posts: 12
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    Thank you for the response. I think this is a good idea. My Mom started today with significant slurring of her words and this is a new event. Not sure if it is from the pain meds or from the surgery/anesthesia but I can barely understand her. I am going to the hospital in the morning to be there when the Doctors round so I can ask them about her speech issues. I will ask about a hospice consult. She will not do her physical therapy and that is also not like her at all. Seems she has given up or lost her will to fight.😪

  • lostdaughter58
    lostdaughter58 Member Posts: 12
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    Thank you. It is tough.

  • lostdaughter58
    lostdaughter58 Member Posts: 12
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    That is so sad. I worry that might be our case. I sure hope not. My Mom has always been very tough, so I guess we will see. Thanks for your comment!

  • lostdaughter58
    lostdaughter58 Member Posts: 12
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    sorry everyone… I am not used to this forum much and not posting correctly. Thank you to all who responded, I appreciate the comments. I am also very sorry I posted in the wrong area. If a moderator wants to move my post to the appropriate section, please do. Again, thank you all for your support. I really have noone to talk about this with other than immediate family and I am sure they are tired of me whining.

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,715
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    Doesnt matter where you posted. Just let us k ow how she does and how you are....

  • ImMaggieMae
    ImMaggieMae Member Posts: 1,010
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    The slurring of her words and any added confusion could very well be the after effects of the anesthesia and pain meds. In addition it could be hospital delirium, which is a very real thing for some folks. She’s in a strange place and her movement restricted because of the hip surgery. She hasn’t necessarily given up. That type of surgery is a big deal for anyone. A lot of the new confusion may settle back after a few weeks.

  • lostdaughter58
    lostdaughter58 Member Posts: 12
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    Hi everyone-

    My Mom is finally doing a little better. She walked with PT today to the bathroom and even ate most of her dinner. She also just got accepted to a Skilled Nursing Facility 1/2 mile from my house. I am beyond grateful at the moment!

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,715
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    That is good news. Keep updating when you can....

  • SSHarkey
    SSHarkey Member Posts: 298
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    Wonderful news!!!

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,353
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    That's awesome.

    Thanks for the update.

  • midge333
    midge333 Member Posts: 291
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    Good news!

  • ButterflyWings
    ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,752
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    Glad to hear she is doing better! I almost said bouncing back, but that image wasn't funny at this point in our LOs lives! I live holding my breath that DH does not fall and break anything. He is so impulsive and always unsteady on his feet but still wants to go, go. I have to watch him constantly.

    I hope they can put a pad next to her bed, or otherwise safety-proof so she doesn't have any more falls.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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