Mom broke her hip two days ago

lostdaughter58

This past Sunday, I got a call from my Mom's Memory care. She had fallen and they thought her hip was broken. She was sent ambulance to the nearest trauma center and it was determined she did indeed break her hip (femoral head). They did surgery the same day and replaced the femoral head. My Mom was fully ambulatory, and doing very well in her Memory care prior to this fall. The hospital said she will not qualify for rehab due to her dementia and was trying to send her back to her assisted/living memory care facility. I had to call the memory care and get the head of nursing to call the hospital to tell them they could not handle Moms condition as they were not skilled nursing. They still have not found skilled nursing that will take Mom. The only other option is to send her back to her memory care with a full time sitter and home health. Has anyone experienced this before?

M1

So sorry. A broken hip is frequently a terminal event. Surgery is almost always necessary just to stabilize the fracture and relieve pain. She will need someone with her 24/7 to prevent her trying to get up. Have you thought about a hospice evaluation? If she gets better, so be it, but if not, you'll have the right resources. Very tough indeed.

mrahope

So sorry this happened to your Mom, and to you. Wish I had something to offer other than my sympathy to you both. Very tough.

harshedbuzz

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. As part of discharge planning, the hospital social worker should be assisting you in finding a SNF that will accept her as a resident.

That said, when this happened to my aunt who was stage 5ish and in an AL, she progressed a great deal between the trauma of the fall, surgery and hospitalization. family was expected to provide some 24/7 to keep her from getting out of bed. Since there was no money for this VA Aide & Attendance, and her small family (cousin, her son's widow and one sister who was already a dementia caregiver) covered most of it.

The surgery went well, but she only lived a few months beyond it.

HB

ThisLife

I was amazed when MC wanted DH to have someone 24-7 for a completely different issue. We had LTC; one 8-hour shift per day plus the monthly cost of MC was 4000 more than the monthly allotment from LTC! Only the ultra-rich have money for personal care 24-7.

lostdaughter58

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/207654#Comment_207654

Thank you for the response. I think this is a good idea. My Mom started today with significant slurring of her words and this is a new event. Not sure if it is from the pain meds or from the surgery/anesthesia but I can barely understand her. I am going to the hospital in the morning to be there when the Doctors round so I can ask them about her speech issues. I will ask about a hospice consult. She will not do her physical therapy and that is also not like her at all. Seems she has given up or lost her will to fight.😪

lostdaughter58

Thank you. It is tough.

lostdaughter58

That is so sad. I worry that might be our case. I sure hope not. My Mom has always been very tough, so I guess we will see. Thanks for your comment!

lostdaughter58

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/69066/mom-broke-her-hip-two-days-ago

sorry everyone… I am not used to this forum much and not posting correctly. Thank you to all who responded, I appreciate the comments. I am also very sorry I posted in the wrong area. If a moderator wants to move my post to the appropriate section, please do. Again, thank you all for your support. I really have noone to talk about this with other than immediate family and I am sure they are tired of me whining.

M1

Doesnt matter where you posted. Just let us k ow how she does and how you are....

ImMaggieMae

The slurring of her words and any added confusion could very well be the after effects of the anesthesia and pain meds. In addition it could be hospital delirium, which is a very real thing for some folks. She’s in a strange place and her movement restricted because of the hip surgery. She hasn’t necessarily given up. That type of surgery is a big deal for anyone. A lot of the new confusion may settle back after a few weeks.

lostdaughter58

Hi everyone-

My Mom is finally doing a little better. She walked with PT today to the bathroom and even ate most of her dinner. She also just got accepted to a Skilled Nursing Facility 1/2 mile from my house. I am beyond grateful at the moment!

M1

That is good news. Keep updating when you can....

SSHarkey

Wonderful news!!!

harshedbuzz

That's awesome.

Thanks for the update.

midge333

Good news!

ButterflyWings

Glad to hear she is doing better! I almost said bouncing back, but that image wasn't funny at this point in our LOs lives! I live holding my breath that DH does not fall and break anything. He is so impulsive and always unsteady on his feet but still wants to go, go. I have to watch him constantly.

I hope they can put a pad next to her bed, or otherwise safety-proof so she doesn't have any more falls.

rpcasillas

My 93 year old mom is in late stage dementia and broke her hip yesterday. She’s lived with me for 6 years and this is the first major issue that requires a hospital stay and potential surgery. I’m waiting to speak with the orthopedic doctor and get his recommendations on treatment. I feel so guilty about what has happened. I should have been paying closer attention to her. If I could trade places with her, I would. This is so difficult to deal with. I don’t have the skill set to deal with this in a healthy way. That is why I am reaching out here. I will do everything in my power to get her well and back on her feet. Before this, she was able to use a walker for short distances and was in a wheelchair for longer distances. If anyone reading this can give me some words of encouragement, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks.

MN Chickadee

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236154#Comment_236154

rpcasillas

You have commented on another post, you may get more responses if you start your own thread.

Her fall is not your fault. Falls are extremely common, almost inevitable, in later stage dementia. You can't have your hands on your loved one 24/7 and it only takes a second for them to go down. The dementia causes balance, gait, strength, coordination, and judgement problems that lead to falls. Most of our LOs have had multiple falls. My mom had many, they just kept coming at the end. I hesitate to say this and pile on, but falls and broken bones can be the catalyst to downward spirals and the end of life phase especially at 93. I only say that to help you understand it's part of the journey of dementia and expected, not something you caused or did wrong. Hard as it is, try not to feel guilty. Take it one step at a time. Time will tell, as to what the doctors recommend and whether she is able to participate in physical therapy and rehab. They may just do whatever they can to make her comfortable. Hospice could be suggested if she can't do rehab effectively. Scary as it is, hospice staff can be very helpful to her, and also to you for navigating these feelings and decision making. I know how daunting these times are when your PWD is hospitalized and you are faced with tough decisions. It's feels like time warp and a bad dream. I wish I had something more encouraging to offer. Just know you are doing your best and being a good advocate for mom and that's all your job is right now. Hang in there and let us know how things go.