Sad realization
As things progress, despite the number of trips each day and distractions along the way (stopping to visit family, watch sailing competitions at local college, run an errand, stop at A&W for a shake and burger (our first date included A&W) or whatever, is seems that we are increasingly unable to find “home”.
The arrival at “home” usually includes her greeting Lillie (our dog) with “We’re home”. And a bit of puttering around. (Lillie travels with us on our trips). I hear a little less of that each week. Our days are usually spent at her grandparents home in Honey Brook PA. Which is a good thing. Helps with responding to questions and conversations. A place of great childhood memories.
However as the day progresses into evening, the place we are leaving changes to-a clinic, school, church, work, etc. And when we get ‘home’ there is usually kind of a resigned “ok, will we be leaving in the morning?” Or sometimes, this is not my home, etc. I know it is most likely sundowning. And there is not much one can do.
Speaking of sundowning. Man, there is so much stuff out there on this. I have made a few attempts to read up on sundowning. Quickly over come with TMI……
Again
Thanks for listening.
Comments
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Hi Clark-yes it sounds very much like sundowning. I wonder if timing your excursions to end earlier in the day might help? Medication is also a possibility, if she starts to get agitated with it. Every little loss stings though. Friends of thirty years visited us at MC yesterday, and my partner asked them if they had met me before. Although it's inevitable it still hurts. At least she recognized them though.
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thank you…try and go as early as possible, but sleeping until 11:00 or 12:00 complicates things. Medication will be discussed at next Dr Visit, however is a big issue as LO refuses almost all medication, introduction of a new medication is a chore. We had a just in case medication for anxiety early on, however approaching her with a pill when anxious/agitated was hopeless. Thank you again for your thoughts.
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just posted on your other thread. BTW there are liquid formulations of a lot of meds that you could put in drinks or soups—that might work best. And sounds like the discussion should not be in front of her. I wonder if you could almost do it over the phone or through a patient portal communication?
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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