Attitude issue

JDancer

My oldest and dearest friend died yesterday after an 18 month battle with glioblastoma. My husband doesn't remember her illness, our multiple visits with her or her death. He keeps asking how I am and reacts badly when he doesn't get a cheerful reply. I just can't do it, the grief is too great. This has added another layer of difficulty to our interactions. Avoiding him as much as possible is the only solution I can think of. And, to be honest, it's increased my animosity. Thanks for letting me vent.

concerned_sister

I'm sorry you're dealing with that.

harshedbuzz

@JDancer

I am so sorry for the loss of your treasured friend.

I am also sorry that dementia has robbed the person who should be consoling you of their memories of the event and empathy for you in your grief.

HB

M1

I certainly empathize with how disconcerting all the losses are. You can't share anything, good or bad, and it's awful—because you used to share everything.

JDancer

I can't even express my grief. My sadness causes him anxiety which leads to frustration which leads to anger.

Dementia sucks.

housefinch

I’m so sorry. It’s so isolating.

wose

I’m so very sorry about your dear friend. Friends thru thick and thin are so so precious and it really hits hard when you lose one whom meant so much. It was and still is the hardest part so far for me—the acceptance of total aloneness—no back up—really no nothing. When I experienced a loss like that, I journaled and wrote a tribute to my loved one and yes, I self isolated to the extent I could💜 Hugs and prayers.

AlzWife2023

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/69080/attitude-issue

Dear @JDancer I’m so sorry you lost your friend (and like the rest of us you’ve lost your partner). I know exactly how you feel…not exactly, but the process of avoiding my DH with Alz b/c the emotional work and torment is too much is very familiar.

Everyday for a few hours in the morning, I just go to the basement with my dog & let DH sit with his coffee for a few hours on the deck if the weather is good or in the house staring out the window. I find it hard to face the day if it means sitting with him and listening to his jabberwocky first thing in the morning.

Our son was hospitalized twice this year and I couldn’t talk to DH about it. He’s just not “there” anymore plus he gets nasty if I don’t tell him something he wants to hear. It’s beyond exhausting. Please find a way to rest and grieve and recharge. See if you can get a few days by yourself. God bless.