Scary Adventure
Yesterday, (around 2pm) somewhat expected, my LO announced she was going home (usuall) but since it was close she was going to walk (usuall), i interjected “got an errand to run, ill take you” and we got in the car (usuall), went to leave the driveway - “that’s the wrong way, my house is the other way (unusual). Agitated
Drove through the neighborhood. Instructed to stop at this house (unusual) i told her there was a family living there, she turned her attention to the next house, i refused to stop, children plating in the yard. LO became agitated tried to get out of the car, has trouble with the door latch and cannot work the seat belt, so she would have not been able to get out.
Drove on slowly, LO agitated. Our street is a big U, we live at the beginning of one side. She seemed to change a little as we progressed out the other side. As we came around the top, she pointed at our house, “that’s it!”
This event obviously made an impression, she was visibly upset for a while. About “these people that would not let her in her house”, but was glad to be “home”. After a while things returned to usual.
The first house she wanted to go to was one we lived in from 83-89. And she often refers to as the one her father bought, which i think refers to the first home they had, which her father purchased.
Most of the neighbors in close proximity to our house are aware of the situation and have our (or family) contact information. Has anyone had experience notifying neighbors to the potential of an unwanted visitor? I would hope it never comes to that, someone is always with her and most if not all trips home are in the car. After a bad experience, we do not let her walk and accompany her to see where she was headed.
My apologies if this is somewhat disjointed, just felt like i needed to tell someone.
Thank you
Comments
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I'm sure that was very disconcerting. I would definitely tell the neighbors. There came a point with my partner when i had to start telling people about her diagnosis "behind her back"—and everyone reacted with compassion.
After your other post yesterday and now this—-it does sound to me like she might benefit from medication for the sundowning, since she's starting to get agitated. Sounds like you handled it well…..
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I have the same problem and it is very upsetting.
My DH has similar episodes where he wants to go home, or to work, school, his grandmother's house. He becomes very agitated if I don't take him to one of these places in the car. I will drive him around and then try pulling into the driveway. Many times he refuses to get out of the car because it's not where he wanted to go. Eventually he will go back into the house.
I have discussed this with his geripsych who gave him a higher dose of risperidone. He told me that it wouldn't take the problem away, but would make the episodes less frequent. RIght now it happens a couple of times a week. Other days I am able to talk him out of going somewhere.
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All of our neighbors are aware of our situation. I wasn’t sure if or when my DH might take off or say something inappropriate, so I notified them all. And all of them offered to assist us at any time. I very fortunate to have them nearby.
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I made all my neighbors aware of DW’s Alzheimer’s when she started to wander. They were all supportive, redirected her and notified me when she got out. I remember one situation where I was walking DW a through a neighborhood near our home. At one house DW stopped in front of the house and started staring down the driveway. There were several very large marijuana plants growing beside the house which was newly legalized in our state. The women who owned the home came up the driveway asking if there was a problem, I think she thought DW was staring at her pot plants, I told her everything was OK and got DW to move on. I went back later and told the women about DW’s condition since we walked by her house often.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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