First time out

wctraynor

Today I took my mom out for an adventure from her LTC facility. She has been there for 3 weeks and I thought i would see if she could handle going to familiar places with me. Wrong,,, she did not recognize our house which I am glad for, since we just needed to just stop in and drop off the dog. She had no clue this was her/our home for the last 10 years. However, she did not respond well to being dropped back at the facility. She mildly recognized her room and some of the personal items we put in it, but could not figure out why it was familiar to her. I'm hoping a few more hours and a nap would be comforting to her. I don't think i will try taking her out again . She is declining so fast. When we were driving around she could not remember the word for trees. She could not articulate she felt lost out there. At least I know what her new limits are. I feel such guilt but also know that is not a rational response to this thing happening to her. My precious mother is slipping through my fingers and I can't take it.

psg712

Hugs to you. I have had similar experiences taking my mom out of her MC. She also has great difficulty with expressing herself. Recently we were sitting at a red light in my car. She pointed at an 18-wheeler passing in front of us and said, "there's a small bill." No clue where that came from. It was a Wal-Mart truck so nothing on it that matched her comment. Most of the time, she doesn't even initiate conversation.

Watching your mom fade like this is painful. Guilt will only make the pain worse. Be there for her when you can, be her advocate now that she can't fight for her own needs, but don't blame yourself for her decline. It's this horrible brain disease. It's so frustrating that we can't stop it or fix it.

M1

In two years i have only taken my partner out of MC for two doctor appointments. Even when we go to a different part of the building for a snack or activity she gets lost and disoriented. Her world is very small now.

CaliforniaGirl-1

Last summer we took my LO out to lunch a few times, always with another family member because she can't safely be left alone for a second. (She could just decide to get up and walk away). I think she enjoyed it at the time because there were little kids and she loved seeing them, although she couldn't pick from the menu and wanted to take all the table settings back with her.

I don't know if I would do that now since her condition has progressed. and she is much physically frailer. I will have to decide if it ever warms up here. When she was first in MC, we discussed taking her to see the house before we sold it. And we realized either she wouldn't recognize it or she would and it would be distressing.

We want to give her pleasure and we always hope that these experiences will be stimulating mentally. Her MC has scenic bus rides she participates in and she enjoys those very much. When she was first in MC, we went to a park and sat in the car and watched people do the trapeze and she really liked that. But she did not like getting out of the car at the park.

Anonymousjpl123

I struggle with this too. I think you are smart not to take her. I took my mom for overnights on weekends initially (after carefully checking with staff and director, who said it was fine), and now as my mom progresses it’s so hard because she wants this but it’s too disorienting.

If I could do it over I’m not sure I would do it differently, but it’s really hard. In hindsight, I sort of wish the staff had told me NOT to take her out, since I will always do it out of guilt. It’s hard to be the one to make that decision. But like you I see it becoming harder and harder for her. There are no easy answers. I wish I could help, I can only commiserate.