How do I take away hobby supplies?

Droyson

My close friend has Dementia and wants to keep sewing but keeps taking her machine apart, or breaking needles, etc. I go to her assisted living apt and fix the machine but it is down again the next day. She was an avid quilter but can no longer keep it going. She will take the needle out and then claim someone else did it, even though she’s the only one there. Any ideas on how I can get her to give up the machine and hobby?

BassetHoundAnn

Remove the sewing machine and tell her you've taken it in for repair. Whenever she asks about it, tell her it's still in for repair. She won't remember how long it's been gone.

There are a few sewing projects that are good for dementia sufferers who enjoyed sewing. One popular one is a tied fleece blanket. Put two large squares of fleece fabric together. Clip a fringe around the edges. The dementia person knots the fringe. Blankets like these are welcome donations at many charities including Project Linus.

Here's a link to more ideas: https://sewing.patternreview.com/SewingDiscussions/topic/77144

harshedbuzz

I'd spirit it away under the guise of having it tuned up/repaired. If she asks, after it you can say it's awaiting parts.

She's unlikely to be able to participate in any craft, at this point without someone providing instruction. It's probably not enough to set her up and expect her to initiate the process.

HB

dancsfo

As others mentioned, I think it is the same fiblet or excuse for taking away a car (being repaired). If all goes well, your friend may stop asking for it after a while. Alternative hobbies are a good idea, but if they create frustration, it can fail, so finding an easy yet enjoyable craft seems to be key

jfkoc

please remove the machine before there is an injury

Quilting brings calm

Please remove the machine before she puts the needle through her finger. Please remove the rotary cutter and the scissors before she cuts herself. If she is on blood thinners that could be a big problem.

ButterflyWings

I was on the same page as jfkoc and QBC. This is an accident waiting to happen, and possibly a tetanus issue even if she manages not to cut herself immediately. As a quilter and sewist for years I have SO many pairs of scissors and more than a few rotary cutters.

Can't keep any of them, nor pins and needles, anywhere near where DH can access them. It is really crazy but now I am even having to keep bobbins, spools of thread, etc. away from him as he became hyper-oral by late stage 6-now early 7. ANYTHING and everything goes into his mouth.

Definitely disappear all these tools before she really hurts herself. Even those missing needles can cause her or someone else injury or infection from a puncture wound if stepped on, or sat upon. I also had to remove all but the very blunt (turkey baster) knitting needles when DH was hallucinating and delusional a couple of years back. Better safe than sorry.

The machine is a stressor for her now. Agreed — it needs to be re-homed like yesterday, and the fiblet is, it is in for repair, being cleaned, parts are being shipped, store closed early, …rinse and repeat

HollyBerry

If you're able to keep a couple needles around (I agree with others, that may not be realistic), what about mending? My partner struggles with the executive function of a mending project but likes the act of sewing, so I find simple mending tasks and we're both OK. I have a really strong magnet for the dropped needles and I dole them out carefully.

Iris L.

Anything with needles or scissors is a bad idea for PWDs. Read about failure-free activities for PWDs. There is a book by that name.

Iris

BassetHoundAnn

An observation. I took away my mom's sewing machine. She hadn't used it in years. Decades probably. So many years that the motor and gears had frozen up, probably due to old, dried oil, and it would no longer work. But she kept asking me for it just like she kept asking about her car, insisting that she wanted to drive again, and asking to go home. "I need my sewing machine!" she kept insisting. It was bizarre. My mom had always hated sewing. I mean really loathed sewing. I or others always ended up finishing her abandoned projects. Her fixation on the sewing machine seemed to be another dementia-related obsession, maybe a symbol of how much she wanted her old life returned to her. I could never convince her that she didn't need it, so lied and said I was using it.

I agree with others. Sad as it is, a sewing machine can no longer be a part of her life. The safest, most compassionate thing to do would be to remove it.

Whyzit2

Thank you for this topic. My DH is a woodcarver and I have been dragging my feet for too long on moving his tools etc. to our locked storage unit. Why? Because I don’t want to deal with his anger when he discovers his stuff is gone. How foolish of me! It doesn’t matter which day he gets angry. It does matter that he is safe. Today is the day.

Again, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

MN Chickadee

There's no convincing her to give it up, a person with dementia has a brain that can't process that logic anymore. As others have said, all these items are a big safety risk. Remove it under the fib of "taking it in for repair" and it waits on a part until she permanently forgets about it. She needs much more basic crafting activities now, you might look at a hobby store for things more geared for children. You or her family may need to work with staff to get her to the organized activities in the AL.

M1

Children's crafts have worked well for my partner. She can't manage a paint brush any more without getting it everywhere, but paint sticks and markers work as long as I'm with her. But anything your friend does will have to be supervised, it's the lack of executive function that's at play here. My partner won't participate in group activities but loves to do things one on one with me. Mainly now she sits and watches, but it's still something we can do together.

harshedbuzz

There are a number of adult coloring books that feature quilt designs. These may be appealing to her if you join in.

mommyandme (m&m)

I got my mom some animal lacing cards/boards for children. Even though mom sewed/knitted/crocheted as a hobby I mainly got them to address her fidgeting and perceived boredom. She would use them if someone worked alongside her. I tried many things to help her along her journey. It’s a tedious task.