Social Security Office experience - Need to vent...

MelissaNH

Oh my goodness. My experience with going to social security for my DH56's disability was the thing that broke my LAST nerve. I completely LOST it on the way home. I was crying so hard I could barely breathe. I had all I could do to compose myself as we left that useless office and walked to our vehicle. And, of course, as I'm standing there crying, trying not to have a complete meltdown, DH took forever to unlock the vehicle door. I had spent over five hours that morning gathering all the possible documentation that they could need and after waiting for over an hour to meet with a person (picture going to prison to visit with an inmate - but having your "booth" exposed to the entire waiting room. We go to sit down and a young, unfriendly person was on the other side. I have no idea how this person got a job working for social security. He had NO interpersonal skills and just downright DID NOT CARE and was rude. I told him why we were there and all he said with a stone cold look on his face was, "Do you have an appointment?" Um… they are considered a "walk in office" and I just waited an hour for his time so I am stumped when he asks me this and all I could say was, "No, but my husband condition is on the compassionate allowance list and so I'm here to do whatever I can to get the process rolling." First he asked what my husband's condition was and I turned around and glanced at the lobby of people staring our way so I leaned in and told him. He looked me right in the face and said that my husband's application could not be expedited because his condition was not considered terminal by their standards. He told me all he could do was make an appointment for me to come back in 10 days or I could submit the application online (which is a useless process in my opinion). I had basically done their job for them. Had copies of all the reports (doctor/specialist visits, neuropsych exam, MRI/MRA, labs, a timeline complete with appointment dates, names, titles, addresses and phone numbers, references to the attached 14 documents I had gathered, full employment history with contact information, copies of W2's, birth, passport, license, social security card and marriage license. I even brought the damn portable DNR! It was a document about an inch thick! The online form is so generic, basic and useless I couldn't even finish it because our case is so unique to the online form template. My husband has anosognosia and is losing his executive functioning (although he presents as if there is absolutely nothing wrong) so he can't complete it since he doesn't think he has any symptoms. There is no place to explain that I am helping with the application and to give full disclosure. So I call social security's number the next day when I realize I can't do this online and feel like it's done correctly and I wait on hold for AN HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES to give basic information (name, social security numbers, address, diagnosis and dates) and be told that someone from that office I just visited will call me in ten days for a phone interview. She then confirms what the office guy said… it will take about 8 months for them just to do the medical review (that's at least 14 months until we can get assistance). You know, the one where they will have gathered all the documents I already have for them. This is absurd and I am so angry. I get that they are swamped. I get did not expect to leave the office and have a decision or any promises, but what I did expect was a little compassion, guidance and a willingness to help and explain the process in a clear and comforting manner. They forget they work for us. They forget that this is money we work our butts off. They forget to be compassionate humans. Ugh. I'm so mad. And I know they don't have an easy job. And I know they are not all like that man. And I know there are a lot of cheaters out there. And I know it's not simple process and there are limited funds. I get all that. But when a middle aged woman walks into their office holding back tears because her life is falling apart all around her, a little bit of help and compassion would be nice! I was sooo polite, respectful and clear as to why we were there. I simply cannot believe the way I was treated by that heartless man. Ugh. Thank you for listening to my rant and please be gentle if you reply. I'm barely holding on over here as I am shouldering all the responsibility to keep a roof over our heads and take care of my husband and be strong for my kids. It's all too much and it's all mine to deal with right now. And I hate that my emotions are making it so hard to stay clear and calm right now.

White Crane

Dear Melissa, my heart goes out to you. I am close to tears after reading your post. I’m so sorry. I have not had to deal with this, so I don’t really have any insight for you except that, I think there are lawyers who help with this. Again, my heart goes out to you and I am sending hugs and prayers.

Brenda

Jeanne C.

Oh, Melissa. I'm crying for you. I have only limited experience with SS and I'm hoping someone who has gone through the SSDI process will jump in to offer some help. I just wanted to offer a little empathy. I'm sorry you and your husband were treated so thoughtlessly. I can imagine your frustration.

upstateAnn

Call your local congressperson’s nearest local office immediately. Arrange for an appointment with a staff member. Try to go alone so you do not have the deed burden of caring for your DH.

upstateAnn

an while you are doing this tell the Congressional aid that funding SS is paramount. And get someone with co Peter skills to 2alk you through the application.

upstateAnn

upstateAnn

computer skills, sorry I was very cross for you.

trottingalong

I am so sorry you had to go through this. There is no excuse for poor customer service. My stomach was in knots reading what happened to you. I suggest you contact an attorney that deals with social security disability and knows their stuff. I live in a tiny, remote community and thank goodness they had one here. I was not on the compassionate list, so the attorney told me he would help me after I was denied twice online and it would be a 2 year process. Once I won, social security back paid me from the day I submitted the application. When I got paid my first check after approval, he took 20% of that as payment. That was fine with me. I never paid a dime up front. He knew I had a good case, and yours is definitely solid.

M1

I agree that after such a negative experience, having an attorney on the front end of the process may be worth it. Maybe you can discuss this at your upcoming attorney appointment.

concerned_sister

Im sorry about your experience. Re trying to keep your emotions in check in such situations, I'd like to share a trick that helped me. Bring a bottle of water. Years ago in a work situation I was told about this. More often than we'd like women can get teary in an emotional situation. But, biologically, sipping water helps prevent the teary response. Months later I proved this to myself when I was on a business trip to India when I was dropped off at the wrong place and knew no one at the place. Sometimes when you need a distraction I can tell the full story. But sipping the water helped keep the emotions in check. I've continued to use it going in to stressful situations. I hope this is a trick you can use.

Dio

Melissa, no one should have to go thru what you had to. I think you got a real sour lemon SS rep. Not everyone there is as acrid. I got help through a company called Allsup, recommended by my husband's company. They don't charge anything upfront and will collect a max amount afterwards based on back pay from SS. Everything is done online and they deal with SS directly so you don't have to. Check them out. It was really worth it.

Iris L.

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/208636#Comment_208636

I agree with this approach. Also copy any information you can find about Compassionate Allowance to add to your documentation. Call the Helpline and ask a Care Consultant for the specific wording of Compassionate Allowance. I am not adverse to hiring a SSDI attorney for assistance, although it shouldn't be necessary.

Iris

ThisLife

@MelissaNH I'm so sorry this happened to you. My experience with SS starting in 2003 - The people at the front desk when you walk in are just that, someone at the front desk to tell you what the procedure is - Make an appointment which can be in person or over the phone. They don't know anything about anything. I completely agree that more compassion and empathy could be exhibited. POV - he probably gets screamed at several times a day and has the calluses on his soul to prove it, when he shares the news that there won't be any information that day. It is why they are behind bullet proof glass and usually a security person with a gun in the lobby.

I surely see why you will want to do this in person. I don't know but suspect that expedited and Compassionate Allowance don't apply to getting a timely appointment.

I'm truly, truly sorry for your pain and frustration. (((hugs)))

JJ401

DH#1 died of lung cancer which is an automatic qualifier. When he applied for SSDI he still had to do a phone interview.
I was still working and his interview was during my work time. When I came home he was visibly upset. The dolt of a guy had asked -“Did they give you a date of death yet?” Common sense and kindness are not a criteria for social security work hiring.

I’m sorry this happened to you.

JoseyWales

I'm going to second trying to get an attorney to help. When my DH quit work, I got one immediately, because I saw how difficult it was for people I knew to get disability. The attorney charged a percentage of back pay due to us. However in our case, DH were approved for disability before he was due any backpay. So the attorney's help was free!

wizmo

I had mixed experiences dealing with SSA on multiple fronts; both in person and on phone, they all have varied levels of experience and customer orientation attitude (or lack thereof). Sometimes if I don't get a good response I just call back the next day and different person may give different answer. Also calling when they first open usually has very short hold time. For initial application to get SSDI, just as you did I gathered all relevant legal and medical documents but I called the national number instead of the local office to ask how to proceed. They suggested and scheduled an appointment because the online process is just a basic form that does not facilitate so much extra documentation. About 10 days later at the appointment I am pretty sure we were assigned someone knowledgeable in compassionate allowance. This agent was all business, collected everything and began the application, but said it was still likely to take time on the order of 2-6 months. Our tax dollars at work, slowly. Maybe a month later I got a request to visit someone purporting to be a medical reviewer for eligibility interview of some kind. It wasn't really a medical office, just a very generic rented facility with no decor and some disclaimer signs saying this is not a government facility and all agents are independent contractors. The interviewer did ask some relevant questions about ability to work, drive, perform ADLs. I got the impression it was a formality to weed out able people submitting bogus claims. A few more weeks go by and SSA office calls again asking me to confirm some information on the application (yes) and ask if I have anything to add (no). Another few months and got first official written response saying application is denied with instructions how to appeal. I knew this was a common practice so not discouraged. Immediately started searching for SS disability lawyers and called one for interview. They took all our details and said they would take over everything including filing appeal. Attorneys like this cost nothing up front and work for a capped portion of previously denied benefits on winning the case (including back pay if applicable). Many months go by with little new information to add, attorney reports at least monthly they are monitoring status. In the end it was 12 months from application date to approval, and 18 months from diagnosis. We got a lump sum payment for benefits that would have been paid from the time of diagnosis, which is when DW is considered to have become disabled. Having that date set way in the past also meant less time to wait for medicare eligibility. I understand the 2 year time may be less or eliminated now. In the end it was all worth it including the portion taken out for attorney. Had we been struggling financially, it would have been a real hardship to get by in the interim. If you need help now, do reach out to all the resources others have mentioned. I have heard of others getting approval on first application and only taking 1-2 months.

sandwichone123

I used the online application and filled in "worst day" information. After about five months he was called in for testing, in a similar generic, contractor environment. He was not having his best day that day and the testing demonstrated that he was clearly impaired. He was approved 8 months after application, which is what I'd been hoping for.