Mother is undiagnosed and won’t go to doctor or allow anyone in to help

hkaiser

my 84 yr old mother has been deteriorating years and she lives with my 92 yo father who cant remember anything but does still drive and do groceries

My mother is sleeping almost all day and in a nightgown with more holes than cloth until 7pm every day and is a hoarder. Lately there has been food out all over the counters covered with flies and maggot eggs and she still scrams at me if I throw anything out She is ultra angry most of the time. She won’t allow anyone in to clean so I have to sneak in when she’s sleeping to even change the poor cats pan and feed him. It is getting so severe and she will not let anyone help and she won’t go to a doctor.
what do I do?? I don’t know who to turn to

Also- my daughter and I have been paying their bills for years but she is very secretive and paranoid and they won’t give a POA - they think all is fine

M1

Welcome to the forum. You need to sue for guardianship. Talk to a certified elder law attorney (look at nelf.org). Your other option is to call adult protective services, but that might have unintended consequences in that an outsider would likely be appointed guardian. I'm sorry, but this is not safe for anyone. You need to disable the car, too.

mabelgirl

Get help immediately, even if it’s an outsider. Consider how you would feel if something terrible were to happen to either of your parents. Prayers for their safety.