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GobDin

I have a pwd that fell in February which caused an L1 compression fracture. She had surgery then went to a skilled nursing facility. When insurance stopped paying and the facility said it was not safe for her to be home alone, I moved her to assisted living. All she wants to do is to go home. The professionals at the assisted living facility say that she is not safe to be home alone mainly due to her dementia issues not the physical issues due to her back surgery . I know that she probably doesn’t need 24 x7 care at home but needs help with her meds and pills, meals and maybe showering due to her broken back.
I am at a loss on what to do with my mom with dementia that is begging to come home but needs more care than she thinks she does …mainly with pills and bills which I was doing. I was setting her pills up for the week but had to always call to remind her and then have found her pills in bags. Before her fall, I had also noticed that she was slowing down with heating up her frozen dinners ….so she wasn’t eating on a regular basis. It just seems like she is more with it. I am thinking it is because the AL makes sure she takes her meds . Basically I have a mom with dementia begging and packing to come home on a daily basis who probably should be home alone. What do I do?

Quilting brings calm

You tell her that the doctor said she needs more time where she is because her back isn’t healed yet. Then redirect her by asking about something else. Maybe an activity that the AL is having in a day or two

M1

Exactly as qbc said, you say it's not time yet, blame it on the doctors. Ask the staff how she is when you're not there, you may be a trigger for this behavior and you may need to visit less. That's hard, i know. My partner has been in MC for two years and still does this.

terei

Agree with M1. Just tell her the ‘doctor says you have to stay til your health is improved’ the end. My mom used to pack constantly. Just ignore it.

GobDin

Thank you so much! That is exactly what I have been doing!! It’s just so heartbreaking! My mom just does t seem so bad sometimes. I keep beating myself up thinking how I can get her home. The problem is that the cost is over double what it is in assisted living. I need to make sure her money can take care of her for the rest of her life and I don’t have a crystal ball. I can’t even imagine this going on for two years.