In Home Respite Care

bushong1

I am the sole caregiver of my soon to be 98 year old mother, who was diagnosed with dementia 14 years ago. As I'm sure most of you are/have been in the same situation, I've been unable to attend major family events (births, graduations, funerals, parties, etc.).

Over the years I have contacted many sites/organizations/institutions who provide respite care, but for various reasons was unsuccessful in obtaining help. Now, due to my mother's mental decline, I feel the best solution would be in home 24 hr. short-term respite care.

Therefore, I'm reaching out to the community to ask if anyone's aware of a qualified individual/facility who provides such care? We live in Coventry, RI.

Thanks in advance for any assistance and/or suggestions you can offer.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Regards,

Ann

concerned_sister

You might try the ALZ Helpline 800.272.3900

Perhaps they can direct you to a resource in your area.

bushong1

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/208785#Comment_208785

Thanks so much for your reply. I did call them, but unfortunately they had the same list I had already received from Hospice. Uunfortunately, no one listed offered the services I required.

Regards,

Ann

harshedbuzz

@bushong1

I have a dear friend whose 90-something mom with dementia and cancer lived with her. She had aides in 3 days a week even after she took FMLA. When she needed to travel to see her sons at school, she could cobble together a weekend with these ladies and a mutual friend of ours who happens to be an RN. Since she and mom were familiar with these people, it worked well for her.

In the absence of that, respite is generally available in MCFs and SNFs. The latter typically has minimum stay of 2 weeks to 1 month which is expensive. Another option would be to check Care.com for people who might provide short-term live-in care.

HB

mommyandme (m&m)

For me, prior to having 24/7 care, I’d like my mom and I get to know someone before they take on the duty. The care services we used, seniors helping seniors and comfort keepers, offered over night help. We also used care.com. When my brother and I were doing long distance caregiving and 24/7 supervision became necessary it was never comfortable if a sub had to come in overnight that none of us knew. Fortunately we had cameras so we could oversee things from afar, but still. When the parties involved are familiar with each other things are less stressful, imo. You might start a company/person a few hours/days a week… get to know them. We had a couple caregivers that became friends, still to this day, that we trusted completely.

After moving mom to my state and becoming her 24/7 caregiver/manager we had mostly daily help in but I slept there and care gave every night.(my bro did come into town and for one of the weeks I got away.) After almost 2.5 years I started to plan for another respite week, with hired help either at a facility or in home, unfortunately it didn’t happen.

Long story short, my suggestion is start getting to know some people/companies for future planning.

… and Happy Mothers Day! 💐

edited… I just read your post again, you have hospice… Our hospice company offered 5 days of respite care (i think per year) covered by Medicare either at one if the facilities in town or at their own inpatient facility. Since you’ve gotten a list from them, you probably already know whether that’s available but just in case.

bushong1

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/208921#Comment_208921

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/208921#Comment_208921

Thanks for your insightful reply.

My mother was released from hospice care, so unfortunately, I can't rely on their exceptional care/service. Based on your advice and others, I'm going to continue to look for a MCF with an opening. If unsuccessful I'll just have to take her with me, which ends up being a huge imposition on everyone involved.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Regards,

Ann

ButterflyWings

Try contacting Age Options, or your local Area Agency on Aging.

Here is a link I found via Google. Maybe they can guide you to other options if this is not viable.

Also, if there is a local Alzheimer’s spouses/families’ group, maybe they can provide some recommendations.

bushong1

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/208894#Comment_208894

Thanks so much for your reply/recommendations. I don't do social media, so if my posts are redundant, I apologize to all.

I've been advised by others not to have in home overnight assistance, when I'm not there. Therefore, though as you said it's unbelievably expensive, I'll continue to check out more MCF in our area. My biggest concern, based on previous experience, is my mother completely loses the little bit of her mind that she still has, primarily due to her fear of not knowing/understanding where she is or why.

Have a Happy Mother's Day!!!

Regards,

Ann

Hope5757

OP,

We care for my MIL in our home. She is almost 92 with numerous serious health conditions, including dementia. She was diagnosed at the middle stage about 18 months ago but is much closer to stage 6 now.

We just hired a paid caregiver from Visiting Angels. We went in that direction because we wanted to deal with a company. The aide is nice and experienced. She allows me to leave the house for errands as MIL can’t be left alone.

We’re in a low cost of living area and pay $20.00/an hour. Any overnight or weekends is $30.00/an hour with 4 hour minimum.

We placed a couple of cameras in strategic locations and transparently advised the company and aide.

That said- the aide is considered a “personal care aide”. As she is not a CNA, she can only dispense medication that’s already been placed into a pillbox. And I’ve found that it takes a while to establish how we prefer her to work. But for us, being able to get out of the house a few times a week has been a life saver.