Confirmed diagnosis

Rach75

My mother has an official diagnosis of dementia, what kind I do not know yet .. the doctor seemed to have the information in the chart but this was my first time attending my mother’s doctor appointment. over the past year has depended a lot on my father for answers , to include her birthday at times but didn’t really notice her disorientation until she came out of surgery. My family and I are new to all of this and have requested a case manager to support us and my mother in learning more about her diagnosis. I am a licensed therapist who is also seeking out my own self care through all of this and anticipating the changes my mom and family will be going through. I find myself missing her and all the memories of my childhood… I have to remind myself to embrace what I do have with her now . She remembers me now and I can tell when she has had a good day… I want to be in the moment but fear for what may be coming is hard to understand

SSHarkey

Welcome Rach75! We completely understand where you’re coming from! You’re going through what I went through with my father. We have a similar story. I was working full time as a professional counselor, tending to both my parents, trying to be everything to everyone. My father was the one I was closest to, and like you, I savored every moment I had with him. It’s such an antithetical experience, watching your parents become children and you becoming the parent. I’m glad to see you’re walking what you speak and getting self care. You’ll need it at different stages of the disease progression. Recognize the early grief process and yield to. It will help you immensely. Especially as you straddle the line between caregiver and daughter. You’ll find yourself shifting hats back and forth depending on the need.
Meanwhile, you’ll find this forum to be a wonderful online support group and educational resource. We all feel very comfortable sharing our stories, our pain, and our encouragement. So many people here who have a great number of ideas and suggestions. I’ve gained a great deal from others here. Stay with us!

Jgirl57

Welcome! It’s a great start to connect with others here . If you haven’t already, see if the doctors office has an online portal to be able to review your mom’s medical information. Sorry you need to be here on this forum but glad you it.

Iris L.

Welcome Rach. How extensive was the surgery? Anesthesia can impact cognition. Also hospital delerium can affect all older adults. You will have to see if she returns to baseline.

Iris

MelissaNH

Hi ((( @Rach75 ))). I'm so glad you found this community. I second the online portal if that is a possibility. It's been so helpful to me. I am very interested in finding out how surgery can affect our LO's with regards to dementia as they learn more and more about these diseases. My husband has had 6 surgeries and I truly believe they have had an impact on his cognition. He has been diagnosed with FTD. His gallbladder surgery in 2011 is one that stands out so much to me in looking back and trying to find answers. He had three surgeries prior to that (knees - related to soccer) and two more after the gallbladder (shoulder and achilles). The last one, in 2021 really seemed to ramp up the behavior. Either that or it was all a strange and unlucky coincidence. Either way, it is all so devastating. I hope that your experience as a licensed therapist will help you with tools to cope along with gaining access to a great therapist. Lots of people have suggested I seek therapy, but with no insurance, a decrease in providers and a mental health crisis going on, that option does not seem possible right now. Add to that, finding time to shop for the right therapist/fit and find someone to stay with my husband… sigh. Alzheimer's runs in my family. My heart goes out to you and I hope you will find this community a comfort.