Help with "story" to get Mom to MC this Thursday

yarnball

Taking Mom to MC this Thursday. She does not know about it. I see no positive to telling her about it beforehand. She is certain she is fully capable, but she is not. It is well past time for her to have 24 hour care. All of us are still working so cannot provide the 24/7 care she needs.

My problem is how I'm going to get her there. I have not been able to get her to leave her home for over 6 months .. not for Christmas, granddaughter's 40th BDay party, pedicures which she used to love. I have cancelled 3 doctor appointments in last 4 months because "I'm fine and don't go to the doctor when I'm fine." I'm thinking of telling her the whole neighborhood has a "plumbing" issue and the water will be shut off for a week while they repair it. But, don't know where to go from there ... "So, I have this place for you to go while they do that,"… I have serious doubts that that will work. Any ideas what to say? Another idea I had was to tell her I found a place for her to volunteer as a chaplain. That was a joyful period in her life. Other ideas that have worked for any of you?

If I cannot get her to leave her house, what option do I have besides getting Adult Protective Svcs involved?

M1

Those both sound like reasonable ideas. Another is to bill it as a treat—out for lunch for a late mother's day? Or possibly get someone else to physically transport her, while you meet them there? Let us know how it goes.

harshedbuzz

@yarnball

Given your mom's personality, your ideas are probably more appropriate that we can crowd source. I think your ideas are spot on.

As you stated, she's become something of an agoraphobe in refusing to leave the house even for pleasant activities and she's medically avoidant and has anosognosia, so you won't convince her easily that this is doctor's orders. I especially like the idea of the plumbing issue in this case— a neighborhood sewer construction project that renders home uninhabitable for a projected period of a month or so would be a good option. You could even mockup an official letter and tell her her homeowner's will pay for a temporary senior apartment while repairs are made. Once there, they can run into construction delays related to a strike, some endangered species nests or indigenous artifacts that slow the process.

Once there, you could leverage the chaplain work if you think it would help.

Good luck. Make sure staff know your backstory so they can support it.
HB