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jaadams2540

My wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in March 2023. I can see she is slowly declining...I'm the only caregiver right now and also work a very stressful full-time job. I'm worried about getting to a point where she will need constant care. I absolutely have no idea what to do...I've heard nightmare stories that we'll go broke over this. I'm 8 years younger and am no where near retirement.

M1

Welcome to the forum. Hopefully at least being here and reading will help you realize you're not alone. If you look to the right under "Groups," there's one for new members that collects a lot of frequently cited sources of information, staging, and things to make sure you get done (legal, financial, and medical).

options for care range from resourcing family (doesn't sound like you have it, but?), working from home, daycare, hiring private aides, to full time assisted living or memory care. People here have done all of the above. There's a 24/7 hotline that might help you think through your options (1-800-272-3900), and your local Alzheimer's Association chapter and Council on aging also might have ideas and resources (sometimes there are local grants you can apply for, for example). It's certainly not too soon to get your plans made. If you call the hotline, ask to speak to a care consultant.

Hang in there, there are a lot of experienced caregivers here and we've all been there. You've come to a good place.

SSHarkey

Hello, and welcome. M1 is right! You’ve come to the right place! Research the sources on this site, ask lots of questions, and feel free to express yourself. We are all here to help and encourage each other! I’ve learned a lot here from everyone and from my own personal studies. No question is too simple! I check in daily and see something new every time.

MN Chickadee

Do you live in an area with an adult daycare? That can be an good in-between care model. It's like they are in a facility part time while a caregiver works or does whatever they need to during the day, and tends to be cheaper than a facility if you did the math hourly. If you haven't seen an attorney who practices in elder law I would do that ASAP. They can look at your finances and advise the best route to pay for long term care and how to maintain the maximum assets for you. This is extremely important for everyone, but especially for younger spouses who have a long life ahead of them after their spouse declines.

Hope5757

@ArvadaHusband1963 -

This forum is wonderfully helpful and supportive. You will likely have better response if you start your own thread with a new post.

Then come back and hit the little dots in the circle in the top right of your comment and you can delete your current comment. That way you don’t have to check multiple places for responses and the OP doesn’t have responses meant for you.

Welcome to the forum. I’m very sorry for the reason. There are some wonderful members caring for their spouses who totally understand your life.

ArvadaHusband1963

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/209967#Comment_209967

Thanks I'll try it again.

CindyBum

Welcome to the group none of us wanted to join, but from whom we all gain so much.

My DW has been in decline for about 4 years now, finally diagnosed in March. As she starting her decline, I realized that I was so stressed out from that heartbreak, from caring for her mother with dementia and from my very hectic and stressful job. The only thing I could control was my job, so I changed jobs. It's less stressful, but I'm still very worried about retirement, because I'm 15 years younger and have a long way until I can retire. I love that my job is less stressful and offers more flexibility. I took a pay cut, but it was $$ worth losing in exchange for a quieter work life. I know I was lucky to make that job move and not everyone can. But if you can, I highly recommend it. It has also changed what I thought my career goals were going to be and were I thought I'd be on the ladder in a couple of years, but I had to do it. I am giving up on a pretty major work goal I had for myself and that still stings a bit. Not nearly as much as watching DW decline though.

Even with that, my DW is progressing rapidly and it won't be long before she will need full-time care, so I still worry about how I'll manage it and keep working. I'm pretty committed to keeping on working, because I don't have the money I need to retire. It's a real tough problem to try and solve, but I'm taking it one day at a time, saving more for caregivers and will do whatever I can to make this all work as best I can. I think that's all any of us can do.

Hang in there. We're all here for you.