The Physical Part of Progression

CindyBum

Greetings from my corner of overwhelm and sadness. My DW has begun to show more signs of entering stage 6. She may already be there and mostly I don’t care if I have her in the right stage. Each stage sucks and everyone one of them has included a deeply painful element or elements to it.

Though she pops back in to being relatively present, I was totally unprepared for what she looks like in this next stage. Not her body, but her face and eyes. In her eyes, she actually looked smaller and more distant. She was trying to see me and be here, but she is literally retreating inward and it’s quite a physical change in her eyes. I could tell she wanted out. She wanted her look to be here, with us, but she couldn’t do it. Soon I know it will be that she’s permanently inward and doesn’t pop back out again. At least I still have that for now, but holy cow, does seeing that tiny little person in there wanting to get out…it guts me. Completely.

For those not yet there, it’s something I wished I’d known . was coming. I am ready for the not knowing who I am, but these smaller changes on the way to that are still so shocking to me.

Rocky2

CindyBum, I feel your grief in your words. This dementia journey takes us down a rough path. I am glad you can share your feelings with your fellow travelers and hope that helps a little. I always tried to educate myself and look ahead. Even so, there were many things that caught me off guard when the happened. This is accurately called the long goodbye. Know that you are not alone. We stand together with you.

Tom

trottingalong

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/69285/the-physical-part-of-progression

I’m not there yet with my DH, but I do remember my MIL doing the same thing you described. And you described it perfectly.

mrsabaldwin

Literally my mom (PWD) changed in appearance overnight. It was heartbreaking. Shocking. I was loading her into the car for an appointment and my DH said goodbye to us. He promptly sent me a text saying that my mom looked different. I told him it literally happened overnight. That day she introduced me to the doctor as her sister. Who I look absolutely nothing like. And I felt the whole thing, dementia, just crash around me.

Arrowhead

My wife is in about the same stage. Sometimes she will smile and her face lights up. Most of the time her face just seems to just hang there, limp, without any muscle support, and without any emotion. Sometimes her eyes will focus on me and other times they seem to not focus on anything. She looks so much older than she is. Like you, I was totally not prepared for the way she looks now. Hopefully your post will help others prepare for this aspect of the disease.

Pat6177

Cindy, thanks so much for the heads up. It sounds painful - my heart goes out to you. DH is somewhere in 5, probably later 5 and we have gone thru the event of not knowing me and have settled into an easy going situation where he doesn’t always remember we’re married but knows I take care of him and everything else. I looked at him today and wondered how he’d look if he disappeared the way you say. I try to remember to appreciate what I have cuz there will be a day when it will be gone. Hang in there!