Need POA

klucey

I’m 61 and have white matter dementia. I met with an atty yesterday about will and POA. The problem is I have no one who I can ask to be my POA. My kids are in their 20s but each have issues that will make it difficult for them to take this on. Ive thought of naming both and have them rely on my brother (he can’t do POA already doing for my mom and lives out of state) and my ex for guidance. My son could help as he lives nearby. But he’s autistic and can’t do anything like managing money. My 25 year old daughter is smart but not able to provide me with care for a variety of reasons and lives out of state. I read that you can hire a atty or care manager to do this, though the atty I saw said he thought it was unlikely. What I’m thinking is to have everything set up for my care so my kids don’t have to do much. It will be complicated financially- earn too much for Medicaid but not enough for care. I’m depressed thinking I’ll be alone in a care facility — my mom is but my brother sees her often and she’s content there. I wish I had someone to help me figure all this out. It’s overwhelming

concerned_sister

Hi Klucey,

I'll share some thoughts as I've been kicking this around for my own reasons.

1. Do you have any retirement investments at a place like Schwab? I haven't followed up but I remember being told if I needed a trustee for a living trust they had a department of folks that could be hired for that purpose.
2. If you have worked with a CELA they may be able to recommend a fiduciary you can hire to handle your affairs.

Good luck with this difficult decision.

fmb

Klucey, I am in a similar position. My DH has ALZ, so I have to change my will, POA and healthcare POA. My sons are local but have had nothing to do with me for many years. No other local relatives. My brother lives in NC and I am in PA, but he has agreed to be my POA. He is also the POA for our mother who lives in KS. As a retired CPA with a wife who is a retired hospice social worker, they are the people I want advocating for me should I need it. I plan to make certain he understands that if I should become unable to care for myself, he is to move me to NC so he doesn't need to deal with my situation long distance. Also like you, I have too much income/resources for Medicaid but not nearly enough to sustain private pay of a facility for very long. The middle class surely gets the worst of it.

Iris L.

I'm in the same situation. I have family but no one close enough for me to ask them to advocate for me. I plan to approach this by relying on technology and local resources in order to stay in my home for as long as possible. If a facility becomes necessary, I want to pre-qualify a few acceptable choices.

Long term care insurance is allotted for three to seven years, usually not indefinitely. I plan to have a backup of funds for five years. I purchased assets in the past just for me to have funds for long term care.

If there is a home, the home can be sold and the proceeds used for care.

It is not true that only low income people can apply for Medicaid. Medicaid has a provision for long term care for middle income people. This has to do with a Miller Trust. You might discuss this with an elder attorney.

There are programs available for veterans. Search for threads about how to qualify for veteran's benefits.

The local Alzheimer's Association chapter mat have knowledge of private grants for care and other resources. Ask to speak with a Care Consultant at the Helpline.

Planning is essential. Simplify snd autimate as much as possible. Make your care easier for your family. The alternative is to employ professional caregivers and fiduciaries .

I'm glad you brought this topic up, klucey. I still have a lot that I need to get done.

Iris

klucey

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/209996#Comment_209996

thank you for this. I have a modest inheritance and will receive proceeds from house sale. But not enough for long term care. Apparently I can spend down and receive Medicaid to cover some portion of care.

Fortunately I have named my daughter as POA and executer. I didn’t want to worry or burden her but she seems ok with it and hopefully I won’t need this for a while.

klucey

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/210008#Comment_210008

thanks for these suggestions, I don’t have long term care insurance unfortunately, but do have enough funds through inheritance for a few years. I’m looking to find an assisted living facility that takes Medicaid, I’m not sure when I’ll need it and when to get on a waitlist. I will explore the other options you mention. I am looking into getting help from an elder care attorney but my funds are tight until I receive my inheritance. Which will occur when mom passed. Unfortunately she is in late stage dementia so this may happen sooner than later. I envy her because she has unlimited funds to cover her care at a good memory care unit. It’s so stressful isn’t it to have to plan for this on top of managing your illness. I hope more federal and state funds become available.